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CHAPTER 14

Olivia met Ethan Miller the first day of their senior year in high school. He took the empty seat behind her in American Government. It took him two weeks to work up the nerve to talk to her, even though she smiled at him every day. But it takes him less than twenty-four hours to show up after she called. He arrives promptly at seven, as promised, and all the way from Los Angeles.

Despite her looming doubts that he’s the father and wondering whether Lily lied to Dwight to spite Olivia, Ethan’s offer to visit, his willingness to drive up here with just one phone call after fourteen years, leaves her with the impression he either knows something about Lily he couldn’t share over the phone—wishful thinking on her part because she’s starving for information—or he is Josh’s father and he wants to meet his son.

She’s been eager to talk with him all day. After the police station, she tried to reach him only to remember he was in meetings.

Now Ethan is standing on her porch, swathed in artificial light, and he looks like a memory from her past, with the creases that bookend his full mouth like parentheses when he flashes a smile after she opens the door. Arms loose at his sides, hands in his pockets, he regards her with an open expression. He wears a black tee and cognac utility pants, his tawny hair mussed from running his hands through it, something she remembers he does when he’s stressed. She can see the grooves left by his fingers. It’s the only sign he shows he might be as nervous as her. But that smile, his mouth, those eyes ... him. They always made herheart sprint like she was catching up to him. This time, that reaction is noticeably absent, and her heart races for a different reason: Josh. She wants to know what Ethan knows.

She invites him into the house. “Thanks for coming.”

“Of course.” Ethan’s presence fills the entryway. He’s the last person she expected to set foot in her house. He scans the room, taking in the changes since he was last here. He once spent a weekend helping Dwight repair the drywall in between tenants. His gaze eventually finds hers.

“It’s good to see you again, Olivia.”

“You too.” If anything, it’s good to know she doesn’t feel for him the way she used to.

Josh enters the room, lured by their voices. He looks expectantly at Olivia. She’d told him earlier a friend was visiting. He might know something about Lily.

“Ethan, this is my nephew, Josh,” she introduces.

If Ethan has any reaction to meeting his son for the first time, he doesn’t show it. He offers Josh his hand, his smile friendly. “Ethan Miller. Nice to meet you.”

“Josh. Same.” Olivia notices his grip is solid, but his eyes waver back to her. They glimmer with expectation. “He ... help?”

Ethan’s pale blue eyes find hers. His brows draw together.

“We’re hoping you might help us find Lily.” She answers the question she knows he wanted to ask.

Ethan slides his hand into his pocket. “I’ll try my best.”

“Thank you.” Josh’s relief is visible.

“Josh, why don’t you finish your movie while Ethan and I talk out back?” He’s only thirteen, and after what happened at the police station, she doesn’t want him to overhear anything upsetting and explode again.

Josh hesitates, clearly reluctant to leave the room.

“I’ll come get you if I learn anything new, promise.”

He nods, and after a moment he retreats to the living room, where he left the latest Marvel release on pause.

“Let’s talk outside.”

She leads Ethan through the kitchen and out to the back. Her yard is an oasis, thanks to Blaze and his team. Raised garden beds on the left. A firepit to the right. A ten-seat pastoral table underneath a pergola covered in jasmine draws the eye to the center of the yard. Wind chimes Blaze crafted sway in the light breeze. Any other given night she’d find the rustic music relaxing. But not tonight. She’s too wound up. Her drive to discover what happened to Lily too pressing, like a palm on her back shoving her forward.

Closing the slider, she digs into her pocket for the lone cigarette and lighter she keeps on her like a security blanket, or the stuffed lamb she couldn’t give up as a child and kept into adulthood. Putting some distance between them, she lights the Marlboro with shaky hands and takes a long draw. The nicotine she’s craved since this morning in the parking lot rushes into her system, taking off the edge. Ethan scrutinizes her, but he doesn’t comment. Another draw and the trembles stop.

“Here’s the deal,” she begins, turning to him. “I don’t know if Lily is dead or missing. I haven’t seen her in fourteen years. Josh showed up alone. I have no idea how he found me or what happened.”

“Have you asked him?”

“Of course I have. Do I look like an idiot?” His chin dips, eyes widen, and she swears. She’s fried, and anytime she tried asking Josh, he’d get flustered. “Sorry. It’s been a trying couple of days.” And she can’t let her anger at their history take over. “He can’t talk. I mean, he can, it’s just not easy for him.”

“What do you mean?” His concern is genuine.

She gentles her tone. “He had an accident sometime before he arrived. He hit his head. Look, you apparently knew Lily a lot better than I thought you did,” she says, spite leaking into her voice.

“I meant what I said. I haven’t seen her since college.”

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