Page 72 of No More Secrets

Lucas coasts up and down Sunset Boulevard waiting for a ping, growing antsier by the hour. Shiloh hasn’t turned on his laptop since she left California City. He’s low on gas, hungry, and terrified for her. Ivy’s called him twice. He didn’t show up for work. Sophie is probably tracking him, too. But they can wait. Shiloh’s his priority.

He refreshes the map on his phone again, and like magic, a laptop icon appears as if it’s been there all along.

Air bursts from his lungs with his relief.

He enlarges the map. She’s about a mile from him. “Thank Christ.” He tosses the phone onto the seat beside him and makes a U-turn toward Shiloh.

The building he arrives at a few minutes later is nothing to shout about from its slate-gray, windowless exterior. The posters plastered on the front tell him it’s a dance club or rock grotto, the latter more likely given Finn’s in a band. She’s not out front, so he assumes she’s inside, and turns into the driveway adjacent to the building to park in back.

He takes a few breaths, preparing what to say after last night’s confrontation, promising himself he’ll assess the situation first before he jumps to conclusions. If she’s not in distress, and she doesn’t want to stay with him, he’ll leave. But if Finn is keeping her against her will... If he’s laid a hand on her... Memories of his father holding Lily at gunpoint clash with his imaginings of Ryder strangling her, which contort into Bob and Barton attacking Shiloh and the fear on her face when she thought Ellis sent Sophie for her. Lucas grinds his jaw, his hands squeezing the steering wheel.

He eases his truck around the corner of the building and slams the brakes. Seated with her back to the wall, his laptop in her lap, is Shiloh. He gapes at her, almost disbelieving she’s here. That it was this easy to find her. She’s alive and she’s whole. The exact thoughts that raced through his mind when Olivia had left the message that she and Josh found Lily.

Shiloh looks up, her eyes huge. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you.” His voice is strained through a throat tight with emotion. Relief and something else. Regret? Could he have found Lily this easily if he’d tried?

“How’d you...?” Her gaze drops to the laptop. “Oh.” She frowns. “But I just turned it on.”

“I arrived several hours ago. I’ve been driving around.” He puts the truck in park and gets out, his movements slow so he doesn’t spook her. He was drunk last night and a bit out of his mind when she last saw him. “I was worried about you. I wanted to check you were safe, that Finn—” He glances around. “Where is he?”

Shiloh doesn’t answer. She stares at him for one beat. Two. She puts the laptop aside and launches at him. He stumbles back against the truck. Her hug is fierce and unexpected. More surprising, he doesn’t flinch. That’s the second person with whom he’s been able to tolerate physical contact without mentally preparing himself beforehand, and he briefly speculates whether things are changing in him because he finally confessed his assault. His secret is out in the open. He talked it out. Or in his case with Sophie, he yelled it. It isn’t a cure, but it’s a start. And he wonders if it’ll get easier the more he shares, and the more he lets people in. Because his assault isn’t his only secret.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” Shiloh bursts into tears, pulling him back into the moment.

Lucas can’t remember the last time he held Lily when she cried. But he holds on to Shiloh, needing the reassurance that she’s okay as much as she does. He pats her back and lets her soak his shirt. He wants to believe he’s making up for when he abandoned Lily when she needed him. But that isn’t entirely true. Finding Shiloh, and her relief that he did, shows him he can be a good guy. He made the right decision by coming here. It’s also helped him realize he doesn’t just want the life he started to build in California City and to feel a connection to others. He doesn’t just want a second chance with his sisters, with Shiloh. With life. He wants to fight for it. He wants to be in control of who he is.

But he’s let his past—the assault, his suicide attempt, his apathy—define him for so long, he just doesn’t know where to start.

Shiloh’s sobs recede, and she steps back, turning her face in embarrassment as she wipes off her tears and snot. Then she glowers at him. “You left me.”

Alone and unprotected, the way she was in the encampment.

“I know. I realize that now. I’m sorry.”

“I was so mad you. You promised I could stay with you.”

“I know. If I could change what I did, I would. But I’m here now.”

Her mouth pinches, and she glances away before turning back to stare at the center of his chest. “You were right. Finn’s a dick.” Her rib cage widens, and nostrils flare with a sharp, deep inhale.

He frowns, leaning down to catch her eyes. “Shiloh, where is he?”

“Home, I guess.”

“You guess?” he repeats, incredulous.

“He and Beck were here last night to watch a band; then they took off.”

“He left without you?” She nods. “How long have you been here?”

She chews her lip. “Since last night.”

“Last night?” His blood pressure spikes. “You slept here, in the parking lot?”

“I didn’t sleep.” Her eyes shift left and right to encompass the lot. She was too scared to fall asleep.

Lucas can’t believe Finn abandoned a fifteen-year-old girl, when it occurs to him that might be why he did. “How old is he?”

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