Page 35 of Rescuing Tobias

That still had not sunk in.

Part of him regretted not taking a couple of days for the news to sink in before telling Isabella he wanted no part of their child’s life other than to financially contribute. Not that it would have changed anything, but maybe he could have explained a little, and she would have understood he was doing thisforher, nottoher.

“Whoa,” Ava said, and he blinked and realized he’d almost plowed into her as he wandered in his zombie-like state down the hall toward their office space.

If there was one thing being in Delta Force had taught him, it was toalwaysbe aware of his surroundings. If you weren't, you could wind up dead. Or blown up with an injury that was getting in the way of you having the life you’d once craved.

It was one thing that had stuck with him even after he’d been medically discharged.

That need to never be in a position where you could be blindsided in such a life-changing way.

Too bad he hadn't realized Isabella was going to forever change his life in the craziest, yet somehow also the best way possible, before he wound up finding himself attached to her. Obsessed with her.

“Sorry, didn't see you there,” he mumbled, trying to edge around her. It wasn't the first time today he’d almost walked into someone. He’d done it twice while on the subway, again when he was heading to the gym in the building and almost crashed into not one member of Alpha Team but all six at once as they were just leaving the gym after an early morning team workout.

Now Ava.

He had to pull it together.

Isabella couldn’t be his, but he didn't want to go and stupidly get himself killed by walking in front of a bus or something. He had to be around to watch over her, even if it was from afar.

“You know,” Ava said slowly, her gaze far too probing for his liking. “You’ve been off ever since you went on that op, which you never should have done by the way.”

She tutted disapprovingly, but since he knew she was only worried about him and not trying to make him feel as useless as he had in the aftermath of the explosion, he didn't take offense.

“But you’ve been getting worse not better. And today … today you look like a zombie.”

“Feel like one,” he muttered. While he’d never made the attempts he probably should have to get closer to Ava, Chelsea, and Teresa, because they always seemed like such a happy little group of friends, he did care about all three of them. Josiah, too, even though he would never admit it out loud. They worked well as a team, the three women, then him on the outside, and Josiah even further out of the circle than he was. There had never seemed any point attempting to get closer to his team, only now he regretted that he didn't have anyone he could confide in.

“If you want to talk, you know I'm here. Teresa and Chelsea, too. Josiah might listen but then you’d get an earful of insults.” She laughed, and the happy sound of it had him smiling despite everything. Even though he hated that she’d been through such a horrific ordeal, he was glad she’d at least walked out of it with aman who loved her. A good man, one who wasn't afraid to stand by her side.

Maybe he should take note of the mistakes Nathaniel had made.

The man had let his insecurities get the best of him, the same way Tobias was doing right now. But in the end, Nathaniel had pulled it together, admitted he had made mistakes, and taken steps to correct them.

Including seeing a shrink.

Was that something he should consider?

Honestly, the idea had never occurred to him before because he’d always thought it was a pretty logical conclusion to come to that after watching your dad slave away caring for your mom, then being injured, that he’d never want to be a burden in that same way.

But maybe it wasn't entirely logical.

“I can see the wheels in your head spinning like a top,” Ava said. There was empathy in her probing gaze, understanding, too, and he was pretty sure she knew exactly where his head was at even if they weren't particularly close.

“How are things going with you and Nathaniel?” he asked, not quite ready to confront the thought yet that he might have issues that needed to be worked through in therapy.

“It’s hard not having him here all the time now. Not just because he makes me feel safe, but because I just miss him. I love finding out new things about him and telling him new things about me, so that’s what we’ve been doing. Playing that twenty questions game. He sends me one along with his answer, then I answer and send him a question along with my answer. It’s fun, and I look forward to every text I get. I’m glad he’s back with his team, though, he missed them, but it sucks not having him here with me.”

“Do you guys know how you're going to handle it long term?” Ava and Nathaniel lived in different states. Nathaniel couldn’t move while he was still on active duty, which meant they either stayed in a long-distance relationship, or Ava moved. Since they did most of their work online, it wouldn't be strictly necessary for Cyber Team to all function out of the same office space. Unlike the other Prey teams, they often worked independently and then brainstormed ideas when necessary, rather than working together as an actual team.

Which meant it wouldn't be outside the realms of possibility for him to move closer to Isabella, assuming she would want to settle near Becca, which was pretty much a given since their babies would only be months apart.

“We’re kind of putting off having that particular discussion, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it. There’s really only one answer. I have to move. Nathaniel can't until he retires, and he’s not ready to leave the SEALs yet. I'm just not ready to accept I’ll have to move away from my best friends.”

“Is that the only thing holding you back?”

“Are you asking if Nathaniel has earned my trust back yet after breaking it? If you are then the answer is mostly. I know he regrets letting his issues get in the way, and I know he blames himself for me being taken the second time. He’s been working so hard in therapy, and I know he wouldn't repeat that mistake. So I think it’s more just that I'm not ready to move yet, I need to feel safe, and I do staying here at Prey. Maybe it’s more that we haven’t found the woman who runs the trafficking ring. Once it’s closed down, I might be ready to move to be with him. Can I askyoua question now?”

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