Page 47 of Rescuing Tobias

The glimmer of hurt in her tone was a kick to the stomach, but he understood why it seemed that way to her. It was why he’d decided to see her, explain himself, and hope for the best.

“It wasn't rejecting you, it was me trying to protect you.”

Her brows knit together in a V, and the fingers drawing circles on her stomach stilled. “I don’t understand. How would you not replying to my texts, and throwing me out when I came to tell you I was carrying your baby, possibly be protecting me?”

Good to know that she also saw him not replying to her texts as a rejection, because she hadn't known about the baby then, and yet she’d still reached out hoping for something. Whether that be a relationship or just friendship, it meant she wanted him in her life.

“I used to be in Delta Force,” he told her.

She nodded. “I figured you were formerly special forces.”

“I was medically retired because my team and I were caught up in an explosion, and I sustained a serious back injury. Surgery and physical therapy have improved it slightly, but even with daily physical therapy, I'm in pain almost constantly, and the injury is only going to get worse over time.”

“Okay,” she drew the word out slowly, clearly still confused.

“Shortly after I was born, my mom was diagnosed with early-onset dementia. She was okay for a few years, she’d just forget little things, but then it started getting bad. My dad loved her with everything he had to give, she was the other half of his soul. He wouldn't put her in a home, so he took care of her himself and had a full-time nurse with her when he couldn’t be there.”

“That’s sweet,” she said, still not getting where he was going.

“It was. He would have done anything for her, given up anything for her. But it took a toll. That responsibility was a heavy burden, especially when he also had a child to care for. A child he wished hadn't been born.”

“Tobias, I don’t think?—”

“I'm not making assumptions, being jealous of the time he dedicated to her, or anything like that. I heard him. That’s what he said. That he loved me, but he loved her more, and if he’d known she was going to get sick they wouldn't have had me, so he had more time to spend with her and didn't have to use some of it up caring for a child.”

“Are you sure he meant it and wasn't just blowing off steam?” she asked gently. “Not that it’s not a terrible thing to hear as a child, I'm sorry you had to hear it.”

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “But either way, it affected me. I learned to be as self-sufficient as possible so I wasn't a burden to him. As much as I wanted to find a love like that once I was an adult, that changed after my injury.”

Understanding dawned on her face, and she gave him a small smile. “Your back.”

He nodded. “It changed everything. Don’t you see?” he implored. “It was never about not wanting you, it was always about not wanting to be a burden to you. Not answering those texts tested every ounce of my self-control. And telling you I didn't want to be part of the baby’s life—your life—almost killed me. I want it, I just don’t think I can have it. My back is going to get worse, I might wind up in a wheelchair one day, and that will be a burden to you. The last thing in the world I ever want to do is put you in the same position my dad was in, having to care for his partner and a child.”

“Don’t you think it would be up to me to decide that?”

“Raven said the same thing. Honestly, no, at the time I thought it was up to me to make the decision. I'm sure if my mom knew what was going to happen to her, she wouldn't have wanted the man she loved to dedicate two decades of his life to caring for her.”

“Or she would have known that when you love someone it’s not a burden to care for them. It’s hard, yes, but not a burden. Because you're doing it out of love.”

Never before had he thought about it that way. It had always seemed black and white, but now it seemed nuanced. Tobias had always assumed his mom wouldn’t have wanted to be a burden, but maybe Isabella was right. Maybe she wouldn't have wanted to be a burden, but at the same time, understood that for couples in love, in sickness and in health, meant something real.

“Do you think … that maybe you could forgive me now I've explained? Give me a chance to prove to you that I want you both in my life? Maybe even see if there’s something romantic between us?”

Isabella sighed, and his heart dropped.

She was going to say no.

Only when her gaze met his, it wasn't rejection shining in those pretty blue eyes, but fear. “Your past and the way itaffected you isn’t the only thing standing between us being together.”

April 24th

8:50 A.M.

Understandingwhere Tobias had been coming from helped a lot. Knowing that it wasn't a rejection, but rather his own way of trying to protect her, also eased a bit of the sting. The hurt and resentment were fading, but an apology and an explanation didn't fix all their problems.

It wasn't about holding onto anger or being unable to see past the pain of his abrupt dismissal of her pregnancy, it was just about being realistic.

Given that she and Tobias had not been in a relationship, and that they’d both agreed to just one night, she wasn't going to hold a grudge. Tobias was doing the best he could with the tools he had to work with. She was ready to forgive him and move forward, whatever moving forward looked like for them.

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