Page 15 of Waiting for Redemption

“Tank!” Ruby calls after me. “Marco, you good?” I hear her ask as her voice fades away.

I have to get out of here. I need some air, I need to be alone, and I need to feel something other than pure fucking anger. I push the back door open, causing it to slam against the brick wall.

“Fuck!”I yell as I throw my phone against the dumpster.

Is this it? Am I just destined to be a bartender for the rest of my life? I can’t seem to get a job serving anywhere honorable because of my injury and so far I haven’t heard back from any of the gyms I applied at where I could do something I actuallyenjoy—something I’m good at.I’ll just feel like shit for the rest of my life while miserably serving drinks to people who think I’m their new therapist and keep every bit of self-loathing I feel over it bottled up. Because, why bother telling anyone how useless you feel when the only response they can muster up isBut you’re so lucky to be alive.

Fuck. That. Shit. Because some days I wish Iwasn’t.

Before I know it my fist goes flying into the brick wall.

Once. Twice.

I feel my demons being appeased by my pain, but it’s not enough. I need to feelmore.More than this fuckingemptinessthat leaves me as worthless as if I’d never come back from that mission at all. I rear back, ready to force my head against the wall, but a small, cold hand makes contact with my face before I get there.

SLAP.

The sound of skin on skin, and the slight tingle on my cheek snaps me out of my trance. I look down to see Ruby staring at me, her poker face perfectly in place.

“Rear back like you’re going to hit your head on these bricks again and I’ll kick you in the balls so hard you’ll be able to taste your own ass.” My demons crawl back into hiding and my dick jumps when I note the intensity behind her sweet brown eyes.

Apparently, I like it when Ruby threatens me.

“What the fuck is the matter with you? Do you have any idea what kind of permanent damage that would do to you?”she asks, continuing lighting into my ass.

“Maybe a permanent solution is what I’m going for,” I answer back in an arrogant tone. She crosses her arms over her chest, narrowing her gaze at me.

“Promise me you won’t do that again,” she demands, earning a scoff from me.

“What makes you think I’ll do that?” I ask, squaring my shoulders to accentuate our height difference.

“Because if you don’t, I’ll follow you everywhere you go to makesureyou don’t.”

“Maybe I’d like that.” I huff, giving her a sinister smile to see if there’sanythingthat will get her to leave me and my problems thehellalone. “Or let’s say I promise you. Who’s to say I’ll even keep the promise?” I pester, her brows scrunching in further before her features soften completely.

“No one. But I hope you’ll prove to both of us that you’re capable of not only the self-control but the loyalty that keeping that promise will require.” Her tone is still calm and collected, pushing me deeper into my uncontrollable rage.

“You know, I’ve known you for avery littleamount of time. What makes you think I owe you any kind of loyalty?” I respond in one last attempt to drive her away. Her eyes narrow and I’m suddenly held captive by the way it feels like she can see through me. Straight down to my torn and tattered soul.

“You know what. You’re right. You don’t owe me adamnthing.Imust have made the mistake of thinking we were friends.” Her hand moves from her chest, as she shoves a finger at me accusingly. “Seeing as howyou’vestepped in on multiple occasions for me, which is something I’ve onlyeverseen friends do for each other. My bad, please…as you were.” She scoffs, turning to go back inside.

Why the fuck does my heart sink when she turns to walk away? That’s what I wanted, the only reason I said any of that shit to get in the first place was to get her to leave me alone. To make her not feel whatever need she has to protect me. So why am I about to undo it all? Maybe because, outside of my brother, she seems to be the only one who’s ever cared about what happens to me.

Goddammit.

“Okay. Fine,” I say through gritted teeth.

“Fine, what?” She turns around slowly, looking at me impatiently.

“I’ll promise,” I bite out.

“Andwhyshould that mean anything to me now? You just made itveryclear you don’t give a shit about being loyal tome,” she says, leaving me with a sour feeling for being so harsh.

“Because I only make promises that I intend to keep.” She shakes her head like she’s listening but not believing a word I say. I let out a heavy sigh, running my hands along my face. “And because I didn’t mean any of the other shit I said before. I was justreallyfucking pissed about something and was trying to get you to leave me alone.”

“You know,askingto be left alone, also works. You don’t have to resort to being an asshole right away,” she says, showing that boldness of hers I’m beginning to grow fond of.

“I’ll uh, have to make a mental note of that,” I say sarcastically. Trying to melt some of the ice I created between us.

---