Page 44 of Waiting for Redemption

“You’re worth showing up for, Honey. As long as you’re calling, I’m gonna answer.” I swallow hard as another tear breaks free.

He studies me as he cups my face in his hands and my heart begins hammering behind my chest. There’s still so many unanswered questions I have aboutus, but all I can think about right now is how much I wish he would kiss me again. Our eyes are locked on one another, and just as he leans in and I think he might, Hendrix’s footsteps echo through the hallway and he presses his lips to my forehead. The warmth of his embrace and the way his lips gently caress my skin makes me melt into him. I wrap my arms around his middle and squeeze him tight because whether we’re friends, or bordering on something more, I amsograteful for him. We both pull away just as Hendrix shows up in the kitchen in his Spider-Man pajamas.

“Mommy,” he calls, making scratching motions with his hands. I choke out a laugh, blinking away the rest of my unshed tears.

“I’ll be right there buddy.” I smile at him.

“Can Tank stay?” he pleads. Tank and I glance at one another and he simply shrugs, leaving the decision up to me.

“Only if he wants to,” I answer Hendrix, but my eyes never leave Tanks.

“I’d love to stay.” The tension between us is so heavy I can hardly breathe, but Hendrix can’t tell a thing. He simply whispers“Yes!”and runs to the couch.

“Okay.” I smile, feeling the heat rising to my cheeks.

“Go have a seat, Mama. I’ll make your plate.” Tank kisses the top of my head before walking over to the stove, leaving me feeling like I’m in a dream. I join Hendrix on the couch, watching as Tank prepares my plate before pouring me a glass of wine. The amount of thoughts I’m having about this man right now is leaving very little space in my mind for anything else.

After I finish my food, Tank takes my dishes into the kitchen, cleaning them completely before returning to the couch with Hendrix and me. He doesn’t rush out the door, or look for reasons to, he juststays.Once Hendrix has passed out, I turn onUnsolved Mysteriesas Tank pulls my feet into his lap to begin massaging them.

“What are you doing?” I whisper to him.

“I’m rubbing your feet,” he says in an obvious way. I try pulling them away, but he doesn’t allow me to.

“No! That’s gross.” I say, scrunching my nose.

“Ruby, you’ve been mindlessly rubbing at your feet for five minutes. They’re obviously hurting.”

“Okay, well they’remyfeet. I’m allowed to touch them when they’re dirty.”

“Woman, will you hush and let me do it?” He begins rubbing the arch of my foot with the kind of pressure that makes me want to moan. And mortifyingly so, I do. I look over and see Tank smirk with a little spark behind his eyes I’ve never seen before.

“Atta girl. Let it happen.” He laughs, tugging my foot until I slide a little closer to him. Once I’ve let go of the fact that I justaudibly moanedwhile he was rubbing my feet, I look over at him again.

“Hey, Tank… Can I ask you something?” I ask hesitantly.

“Always.” He smiles at me, making me nervous to voice my concern.

“The other night at the concert, right before… Before I kissed you,” I whisper, glancing down at Hendrix who’s still sound asleep. “You had this distant, almost vacant look in your eyes. Like—like you weren’t really there.” His jaw ticks as his gaze stays locked on my feet in his lap. After a moment, he finally looks up at me.

“Yeah… I’ve recently had theseoccurrenceswhere I kind of mentally space out and it’s almost as if my subconscious takes over. Sometimes they’re triggered by things, sometimes they’re completely random.Thenthere’s times I’ll end up somewhere and have no idea how I got there.” My eyes grow wide at his confession, stirring a major concern for him in the back of my mind.

“What do you mean you just show up places?” I press further. He lets out a deep sigh, as he begins rubbing my opposite foot.

“Remember the night I called you? When I was at the bar with Lenny?”

“Yeah?”

“I was headed home from work that night, I stopped at a red light, and the next thing I knew I was parked right outside of their bar. Lenny came out right about the time I realized where I was and asked to buy me a drink, a few hours later I was on the phone with you.”

“Is there a way to stop that from happening?” He smirks and glances in my direction.

“I’ve only found one method to pull me out of it so far.” he teases. I give him a concerned smile but he brushes it off before the conversation goes any further.

“Don’t worry about me, Honey. Just sit back and enjoy your foot rub, yeah?”

I roll my eyes at him playfully as I lay my head down on the throw pillow next to me—before I know it, I’m out like a light. I’m woken up by the feeling of Tank’s lips on my forehead, I try to tell him bye and thank him again for everything he did today, but the words never come. I hear the door shut and lock behind him then I let myself fall back into a deep sleep. When I wake up the next morning the kitchen is completely clean, my phone background is changed to the picture of Tank and Hendrix from Spur’s and I have a new outlook on my relationship with Tank.

I only hope that when I decide to tell him how I feel, he’ll feel the same way.

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