Page 73 of Waiting for Redemption

“Well, that’s probably because the only talking we’ve done in the last week since seeing each other again has been about today and everything leading up to it. But the six months prior are still a mystery, and you’re confused. That sound about right?” She nods her head in response.

“Then allow me to make it less confusing for you.” I pull a letter out of my pocket with her name scrawled on the envelope, and hand it over to her.

“What is this?” She takes the envelope and inspects it closely.

“That’s the letter I wrote you six months ago.” The confusion on her face almost makes me laugh. “A copy of it. I didn’t trust that Tucker wouldn’t end up losing the first one.”

“Ah.”

“But that’s not what happened, is it? You got the letter, you just didn’t read it.”

“What are you, psychic now?” She tosses her hands in the air, getting worked up at my accusation.

“No, I just–”

“Tank Landry disappears for six months, comes back omniscient,” she says as if she’s reading the headline from a paper. “You know, texting still works too. Or hey, showing up in person. Telling me face to face why you’re still going to seeeveryone elsewe hang out with, but notme!” she snaps, looking up at me as she gets all this pent-up frustration off her chest.

“You might want to stop yelling at me,” I say, flexing my jaw as I notice her breasts straining against her white silk dress when she puts her hands on her hips.

“Oh really? And why is that?” As soon as the words leave her lips, I pull her body flush with mine, pressing her tight against my waist. Her eyes grow slightly as she looks down then quickly back up at me.

“Because it gets me hard when you’re all worked up.” She stands motionless as her eyes bounce between mine. “Especiallywhen you’re wearingmyring, in a wedding dress that I’m dying to see on the floor. Now, are you going to read the damn letter, or do I need to read it to you?” Her eyes are wild with emotion as she pulls away and rips open the envelope, and my heart begins to race.

I’ve been so sure that I handled things the right way, but at this moment I’m terrified I may have been wrong. That she’ll read it and still not understand my reasoning. But it’s a little too late for second-guessing. She unfolds the paper and walks over to the bed, sitting down as she begins to read it.

Ruby,

I hope you can forgive me for sending Tucker to deliver this letter, but I knew if I looked into those honey brown eyes of yours, I would never have the strength to follow through with what I have to say. You know that space you told me you needed? I’m gonna do my best to give it to you. Because I realize how horribly I messed up the other night, and I will do whatever it takes to make up for it. To show you how truly sorry I am for putting you in that situation. But I wanted you to know that I’m getting help. Which is one of the reasons why I’m writing you this letter. Tucker helped me find a therapist that has experience dealing with veterans, and I’m going to see if she can help me figure my shit out. I want you to know how much I want to be with you right now, but I don’t know what comes next, and I don’t want to put any pressure on you to be around me until you’re ready to be. Staying away from you is going to be one of the hardest things I’ll ever do, but if that’s what you need and it means I’ll come back to you a better version of myself, a version that protects you and doesn’t hurt you, then I’m going to do whatever it takes, for however long it takes, to make that happen. I hope you’ll still call me if you ever need me, or if Hendrix needs help with soccer. No matter what’s going on, I’ll be there. Please tell him I’m sorry too, that I meant what I said when I told him I would protect you, and I plan to keep my promise. You’re my girl, Ruby, and one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I hope one day I get the chance to show you just how much I mean that. I’ll be waiting for you to tell me you’re ready to see me. Then maybe we can start over?

Always Yours, Tank

CHAPTER26

TANK

“You stayed away forme?”she sobs as the letter falls onto the bed.

“I sure as hell didn’t do it for myself.” I laugh, bending down in front of her. “I was trying so hard to finally do the right thing when it came to you. I’ve never been a selfish man, but with you, that’s all I ever wanted to be. So I spent those six months trying to find a way to redeem myself for the things I put you through, but I never felt successful. So I settled on just being better. After feeling like all I had ever done was screw things up between us, the least I could do was make sure when you saw me again, I was the best version of myself you’d ever seen. One of the reasons I quit the bar was to help me stay away from alcohol. I had gotten into a really ugly relationship with it, and I’ve been going to AA meetings ever since I left. I’m just… I’m really fucking trying to be better.” She frowns at me as she takes my face in her hands, looking over every feature before she settles on my eyes.

“You don’t have to keep waiting for redemption, Tank. What you did today for Hendrix and me, made every single redeeming quality you have outshine any mistake you thought you needed to make up for. I forgive you for what happened and for the way things ended.” My heart bursts wide open at the words I had no idea I even needed to hear.

“Can you forgiveme?” Her words take me by surprise.

“For what?”

“For not opening your letter. For making you think I didn’t want to see you forsomuch longer than I did. For today.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Honey,” I tell her, wiping away a tear from her cheek.

“Are you still interested in a fresh start?” she asks nervously.

“Not tonight.” Her face scrunches in uncertainty. “Tonight, I want to treat you like mywife. If you’ll let me.” I see the way she swallows nervously, as her thoughts start running faster than she can think them.

“What do you mean?”

Oh, she knows exactly what I mean.

“Imean, I want to show you just how good I could be at being your husband.” I run my hand along the thigh that’s peeking out from the slit in her wedding dress.

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