Page 78 of Waiting for Redemption

His physique lives up to his name because he’sactuallybuilt like a tank and being wrapped up in his arms is easily becoming my favorite place to be. The veins running through his arms and hands and the tattoos that cover his tanned skin are getting the attention I’ve wanted to give them for over two years now, and his dick will more than likely make me forget my own name before we check out of this hotel tomorrow. I’m not surprised that it’s as massive as the rest of him, but oh mygod.

“Like what you see, Honey?” he teases, as I run my hands along any part of him I can.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a beautiful man?” He chuckles, spinning me around to switch places with me, shielding any water from hitting my face as he leans down and kisses me.

“You would be the first.” He breaks our kiss only long enough to get those words out. Even though I still feel sore, my pussy can’t help but clench when he wraps his arm around my waist to bring me closer to him. My arms wrap around his neck without hesitation and he pulls my legs up around his middle. His kisses move from my lips to my neck and my nipples harden as I arch into him from the sensation.

“You’ve ruined me, baby, how am I ever supposed to stop kissing you now?” he whispers in my ear, and I desperately want to tell him to never stop. That if he does I may actually die from the heartache.

“Maybe you don’t.” He rears back, letting those emerald green eyes study mine. I don’t know why I feel the sudden need to hide after my comment. He’s holding my naked body flush against his in the shower, after giving me the best orgasms of my life and a sense of safety I never thought I would have with a man. Even after every comment he’s made tonight that leads me to believe he wants this, and possibly more, I’m scared to tell him what I want.

“What happened to a fresh start?” His brow furrows, making my heart race with anticipation. “Have you changed your mind?”

“What if I have?” It feels like time has frozen as he looks back at me contemplating—the only thing still in motion is the water running between us.

“I want you to be sure. I don’t want you making a decision because you’re caught up in the moment. Because once you tell me that you want this, Honey, there’s no taking it back.” I’ve never seen Tank look so… hopeful while waiting for a response from me.

“I’m sure.” He smiles so genuinely when I nod my head in agreement, as I feel his length begin to harden against me. As he takes my lips captive in his, my hands tangle in his hair before I reach down and line him up to my entrance.

“Greedy little wife.” He smirks against my lips, causing me to stop.

“Do you not want to?” I move my hand back up to his shoulder as his features harden.

“Let me make thisveryclear. I will never not want to be inside that sweet little pussy of yours.” I gasp as he thrusts all the way in. “And I will always be just as greedy for you—if not more.” He spends the remainder of our shower making me come not once, but twice more, before drying my hair and wrapping me up in a plush hotel robe to carry me to the bed. He gets under the covers beside me still completely naked before tucking me beneath his arm.

“Are you tired?” The deep rumble of his voice vibrates through his chest while he plays with my hair.

“Surprisingly, no,” I admit, looking up at him. “You?” I mean sure, if I sat under the warmth of his embrace while he played with my hair like this for any length of time, I’d probably get the best sleep of my life, but I’m not ready to let this night be over.

“No.” He shakes his head, kissing my forehead. “I think we should fill in some blanks from the last six months, don’t you?”

“Yeah, of course.” I sit up straight so that I’m able to face him.

“What do you want to know?”

Everything.

I want to know everything I’ve wanted to ask him for the past six months about what drove him to almost leave us, to what he’s been watching on TV in his spare time. He stares back at me patiently as I figure out how to ask him what I want to know, but the look in his eyes—the peace that hasn’t always been there—makes me confident that we can have this conversation now, without fear or discomfort.

“Why did you do it? Why did you… try to kill yourself?” My voice is low, like a verbal tiptoe to help us ease into it. Regardless of how much it terrifies me to ask the question, I hold his gaze when I do. He lets out a deep sigh, taking my hand in his before he answers.

“Because, I really hated myself.” His answer feels like a knife to the heart. “Or at least I thought it was as simple as that. I felt like all I ever did was fuck things up. No matter how hard IthoughtI was trying to do things right. I felt like all I ever did was fail. I let my team down when I broke my back, and again when I wasn’t there during the mission that got Dom killed. I let you down–”

“I had no idea, Tank. I’m so sorry.” He nods in appreciation but stays quiet. “And, you didn’t let me down.” I squeeze his hand in mine, doing my best to reassure him that I never felt that way. I was hurt when I didn’t hear from him all those months, sure. But I know the reason behind that now and it was my own fault.

“I did though. I knew something was off and I just kept thinking I could handle it on my own. And we see how that ended up. It got you hurt and I almost took my own life because I was drowning in a darkness I couldn’t even see. I let you down by trying to be in your life when I knew I shouldn’t have been,” he says, as I run my finger mindlessly along the palm of his hand. He looks down at it and smiles.

“I missed you like hell during the six months we didn’t talk, but I’ll always be grateful for the healing that happened during that time.”

“Me too.” I caress his cheek and when he kisses the palm of my hand, my heart begins to flutter. I clear my throat and return to drawing circles in his palm. “So I take it therapy has been going well then?”

“Yeah.” He nods, starting to play with my fingers mindlessly. “It was really hard at first, Having to talk about everything and open myself up to bare my sins like that, God I hated it.”

“You seem to do those things fine with me.” His eyes soften when they land on mine.

“You’re my girl, Ruby. You’ve always been the exception. Even more so now that you’re my wife.” My cheeks heat as he gives me a wink before he takes in a deep breath and continues. “To better answer your question though, I’m down to bi-weekly phone check-ins with my therapist unless otherwise needed, so yes. Therapy went very well.” He has no idea how at peace my heart is from hearing him say that.

“Good.” I smile up at him. “What else?” I ask, wanting to fill in every single moment I wasn’t with him.

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