Page 80 of Waiting for Redemption

“You didnothingwrong. You hear me. Not a damn thing,” Tank interrupts, holding my face firmly in his hands, caressing my cheek gently with his thumb. I nod as he stares deeply into my eyes as if he’s trying to be sure his words are getting through to me. Then he nods for me to continue.

“It took me a little while to get over the way things ended but I thought, worst case scenario, I would have the baby and raise it on my own. I never wanted anything from him, but I wanted even less after seeing who hereallywas.

“But one day he asked to see me, saying he missed me and wanted to talk about things and I stupidly agreed. I was so naïve to think things would end up being different between us, that maybe he had a change of heart about the things he had said. And even if he didn’t want tobewith me, maybe he wouldn’t be so nasty about the baby. He walked in and the first thing he asked was if I was still pregnant. I wasn’t sure by the tone of his voice what he wanted the answer to be, so I told him the truth. He slammed his fist on the dresser, knocking a flower vase over making it shatter while voicing his disapproval. He grabbed me by the throat and the last thing he said to me wasI’ll give you one last chance to take care of this, or I’ll do it myself.He picked up a broken piece of glass from the table and when I tried to knock it out of his hand, he grabbed me by the wrist. He held it so hard it was bruised for days after. Thenhe used the glass to cut me on my stomach. A permanent reminder of the threat he made. That moment has haunted my dreams for over six years.” I rub the spot on my stomach as Tank pulls me over to straddle his lap, rubbing my thighs in a soothing motion.

“The tattoo on your wrist. It’s a tattoo of the bruise he left?” I shake my head, rubbing my thumb across the ink.

“I know it may seem morbid, or may not make sense at all to others, but I wanted a reminder of what I had been through, and what I was strong enough to walk away from. I wanted to be able to look back and see how far I’d come from the shit he put me through,withmy baby alive and well.” I can’t help the sobs breaking free as I think about how badly I want to squeeze Hendrix right now.

“You’re okay baby. I’ve got you now. You’re safe with me.” I take a steady breath, letting his words and gentle touch soothe me.

“I lied and told him I would take care of it the way he wanted so he would leave me alone. He didn’t want anything to do with me anyway, so I figured if I just disappeared he would never know the difference. I would keep my baby, and be rid of him. When he walked out, I packed what few belongings I had and was leaving the motel within an hour. My phone had been going off for most of the time but when I finally picked it up, the messages sent me into a downward spiral. Every single one of them reiterated his seriousness about me getting an abortion. That if I did what he said,no one would get hurt.He doesn't deserve to be anyone’s father. He never has.” I get angry all over again as my heart yearns for my baby boy. The sweetest and happiest kids I’ve ever known. The one who’s helped keep me whole, and reminded me how strong I can be.

“You’re right, he doesn't deserve to be anyone’s father. Especially not Hendrix. I promise you we’re going to make sure that doesn't happen. Honey, look at me,” he says, bringing my gaze up to him. “He had no right toeverblame you for anything that happened between the two of you. I will kill him for making you feel the way that he did and for trying to keep Hendrix from being born. Hendrix makes this world a better and brighter place, and I amsofucking proud of you for walking away and fighting, for thebothof you. You deserve nothing less than someone who shows you just how wanted and worthy of love you are—because youare,baby. You’re more worthy of love than anyone else I know.”

Tank Landry, has healing powers through words of affirmation.

All I can do is shake my head to let him know I hear him because if I try to speak I’m not sure what will end up coming out.

“Wait…If he texted those things to you, couldn’t that be used as evidence against him?” I shake my head, wishing it were that simple.

“I don’t have that phone anymore. I lost it when I went back toBad Bunniesto let them know I wouldn’t be back. I didn’t realize it until I reached Salt Lake City. At the time I saw it as a good thing since he didn’t have a way to contact me, but I also didn’t have any ofmyold contacts. I drifted from state to state, picking up any job I could to keep some money in my savings all while living out of motels. Once I got too pregnant to keep traveling, I stopped drifting. That’s when I ended up in Nashville. I walked into Chattahoochies to see if they could use any temporary help, and the rest is history. Max took me under his big grumpy wing and not long after I was able to get a little two-bedroom house. Then along came Hendrix—my little miracle.” We both smile as Tank continues to absentmindedly touch, stroke, or rub any part of me he can reach. Like he has an undeniable need to have some part of himself connected to me. If I’m being honest, I hope he never stops.

“That’s why you’ve stayed at Chattahoochies for so long. You found your new family there.” I smile, thinking about how much Max has been there for me throughout the years.

“Max really taught me to be strong, you know? I’m not sure he even knows it, but when I first started and was still so damaged from my past, I would cower at bar patrons getting too rowdy or making inappropriate comments at me. I was strong when I knew I needed to be, like when it came to leaving Mark, but with everyone else, I was a doormat. He would look at me and say,Show 'em your backbone, Rubes. We don’t take anyone's bullshit around here.Then he would give them this look, letting them know that whatever I said next was to be taken seriously or they would be removed.I still hear his voice telling me that every time I have to tell someone to shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.” I laugh, noting the seriousness on Tank’s face.

“You are by far the strongest woman I’ve ever met. You are the most incredible mother to Hendrix, and loyal to your friends. When I first met you, I remember thinking you were so unlike anyone else I’d ever met. You’re quick-witted and beautiful, you radiate confidence and have no problem telling people when it’s time to hit the pavement. You’re strong and you would do anything to protect the ones you love. I learnedveryquickly that your personality matched the outward beauty you possess, which is what kept drawing me back to you when I knew I should stay away. But do you want to know what I’ve discovered I love most about you?” His green eyes are so serene as they study on my own, making my heart hammer faster inside my chest.

“What?”

“I love the way you let yourself be vulnerable with me. When you show me the parts of yourself you think will show weakness, it only proves to me that you’re stronger than you think you are.” I feel like I’ve cried more in the last week and a half than at any other time in my life, but nevertheless, more tears begin streaming down my face.

“Can I be strongandscared? Because I am still so scared I’ll lose him.” He cups my face in his hand, wiping away my tears as I lean into his touch.

“We won’t lose him, but you can be whatever you need to be, as long as you’re mine.”

“I’m yours, Tank,” I whisper, kissing the palm of his hand before resting my cheek against it again.

“Good girl.” I smile at his praise, letting my eyes drift shut once again.

CHAPTER28

TANK

My wife isthe most beautiful human being in the world. She wields a strength unlike any other person I’ve ever known, and my love for her only grows with each passing moment. When she lifts her head from my hand, letting her sleepy eyes flutter back open, I unsash her robe and slide the fabric down over her shoulders to remove it completely. My dick begins to harden immediately at the sight of her and the blush that creeps over her face as I admire her beauty.

“Come here. You need to rest.” I motion for her to lay beside me, tucking her under my arm as she hangs her leg over mine. Her breasts are pressed firmly against my side as she begins tracing the tattoos on my chest.

“Tell me something I don’t know about you.”

“What?” I laugh, her question catching me off guard.

“I want to know everything about you. The good, the bad, and the interesting.”

“I thought it was the good, the bad, and theugly.” I tilt my head to look down at her, making her mimic my motion to meet my gaze.

“There’s nothinguglyabout my husband.” Her cheeks turn rosy, as she fights back a smile. She moves to rest her head on my chest again, and I can’t help the smile that forces its way onto my face. I quickly memorize the way it feels to hear her calling me her husband and how happy she looked while saying it. I think for a moment about what I could tell her that she doesn’t already know and won’t bore her before something comes to mind.

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