Page 55 of Royal Games (The Royals of Monterra)

But to reject this gift would be like rejecting him. And if there was a possibility that I would want something more at some point in the distant future, then I couldn’t shut him down.

So I opened my eyes and said, “Thank you.”

We got inside and I brought him into the living room, offering to hang up his coat. He gave me a look, like I’d just insulted the thousand years’ worth of chivalry and honor that had been bred into him. Instead he took mine from me and hung them both up.

I went to the tree to hang up the slipper, but my aunt stopped me. “What’s that?”

“This?” I held it up. “It’s something Rafe gave me.”

“May I see it?”

I walked over, handing her the ornament. She held it up like I had, but now we had multicolored lights to twinkle and reflect off of the surface. She leaned toward me and whispered with a satisfied smile, “This, my darling girl, is why I push.”

“It’s too much. I don’t like him doing things like this for me.”

She let the ornament dangle from her fingers, silent for a few moments. “I don’t want to diminish what you’ve been through, but Rafe is not John-Paul. He’s not trying to control your life or make you feel powerless. He’s trying to show you that he loves you the only way that he can.”

“He could just say it, if that’s how he really felt.”

“Haven’t you heard that words are cheap? He’s showing you instead of telling you.”

And in that moment, I sort of got why she was on his side. I returned to the tree, hanging the ornament on the highest possible branch, next to myEnterprise. Rafe had sat next to Aunt Sylvia, and she was teaching him how to make popcorn strands. They talked and he made her laugh, like they were two old friends. I think more of the popcorn ended up in Rafe’s mouth than on the string.

I sat on his other side and ignored the surprised expressions on both of their faces. Technically, he had taken my spot, and this was where all the supplies were. I concentrated on finishing up my strand. Being this close to him made my stomach somersault. And I had homework to get done.

Sylvia excused herself to get a drink. I offered to get it for her, but she said she wanted to do it on her own. I knew her independence was important to her. Apparently so did Rafe, and that had to be the reason he had hired Amanda. Rafe helped my aunt to stand, making sure she had her cane. When he sat back down, he was now much closer to me than where he had started out. His thigh pressed against mine, and his upper arm was against my shoulder. Delicious heat pulsed from him, filling my senses.

While I thought I should probably move, I didn’t.

“Thank you,” I said, keeping my eyes fixed on my work.

I felt his gaze on me. “You already thanked me.”

“No. Amanda stopped by and told me what you did for her. And I know what you’ve done for half of the people in this town. You’ve changed all of their lives for the better. They’re all important to me. Thank you.”

He went strangely quiet, and I stole a glance at his face. He looked so serious. “Everyone important to you is important to me.”

I gulped.Rafe was important to me. The realization bolted into me so fast, so furiously, that I knew it was absolutely true. He mattered. I cared. Whether or not I wanted to, I did. The delirious dizziness of my epiphany engulfed me and I wanted to talk with him, to see if we could work things out. I was in danger of folding like a bad poker hand. I didn’t say anything, though.

Because I was going to have to figure out a way to start trusting myself first if I ever hoped to trust him.

Chapter 17

The last time Rafe and I had sat this close, we had been back on the show. A couple of weeks in, after all the girls had gone to bed or passed out drunk, he had me meet him in the confessional room. He had set up a TV so that we could watch a movie. The movie had been my idea; our dates had been so outlandish and had involved so many other women that I wanted a chance at normal. I just wanted to cuddle with him and watch a movie like regular people.

It was totally against the rules for us to be alone like this, but that somehow made it more exciting and romantic.

He had two options for me—an action movie or a romantic comedy. Looking back, I probably should have picked the action movie, but I wanted the rom-com. Not only because I felt like I was living in a real-life one, but because it reminded me of my aunt and home.

And toward the end, when the couple admitted their love, finally kissed for the first time, and fell into bed together, I made a weird sound from the back of my throat. I instantly went silent, praying he hadn’t noticed.

Part of my reaction was because it made me so uncomfortable to be watching a scene like that with a guy I liked that much. I’m sure it would have been no problem for some other girl, but for me it was awkward squared.

It felt like a Big Deal because I’d never done anything even remotely like that. Which he knew, but still.

Despite my wish that he had hadn’t heard my inelegant noise, he immediately turned to me, pausing the movie. “What?”

And he had just made it infinitely worse by pausing the characters mid-action.

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