Page 29 of #Starstruck

In a way Chase had been Lexi’s first. She was the super fan and had pulled me into it. I worried that if I told her, she’d be mad. Or hurt.

I also worried that if Lexi knew I could put her in Chase’s path, she’d do everything she could to nab him. And that he’d choose her over me. Which logically didn’t make sense, given that he’d already met us both, and he didn’t ask Lexi to be his assistant or tell her he wanted to hang out her. But every crush I’d ever had in high school had preferred her to me.

A voice inside me whispered,If he chose her over you, then you deserve better. You don’t have to keep this to yourself. Stop being selfish.

Maybe it was selfish, but for now it was fragile and new, and I didn’t want it destroyed. I mean, that might happen anyway once I told him about the celibacy thing, but I didn’t want Lexi to be the reason it ended.

Sometimes it felt like my entire life was devoted to taking care of other people. I could have one thing that was just mine.

Not to mention, legally I couldn’t say anything.

“What?” she asked. “You’re looking at me funny.”

“I’m just ... glad we’re friends.”

Lexi twisted off the top of her Oreo. “There’s something different about you.”

Could she tell? Did she have some kind of movie-star radar, and had she figured out I’d been with Chase? “What do you mean?”

She shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know. There’s this, like ... happiness about you. Wait! You’ve been seeing that guy, haven’t you? Because you have that ‘A boy likes me and we’re dating’ glow about you.”

“You mean like the one Gavin gave you?” Not a great distraction, but it was the best I could come up with.

And it didn’t work. “We’re not talking about Gavin. We’re talking about the cute boy who likes you.”

The cutest boy on the entire planet. I really should tell her. “Look, Lexi, the thing is—”

“Have you told him about your Fortress of Solitude situation?”

She meant my celibacy. “Not yet. I’m going to. I wanted—”

“Are you going out again?” she interrupted me. “With that guy from work?”

Chase was now from work. “Yes. On Saturday. But—”

She squealed and ran over to hug me tightly. “I’m so excited for you! You’ll have to tell me all about him later. I’m supposed to meet Gavin for a late lunch. I’m even being regressive and letting him pay.”

I pointed at her cookies. “But you’re already eating.”

Lexi rolled her eyes. “Duh. So I don’t eat a ton in front of him.”

“You’ve been dating for a while. I’m pretty sure he knows you eat food.”

“It’s ingrained! I can’t help it!” she protested. Her grandmother had been a serious Southern belle with plans to take Hollywood by storm. It hadn’t quite worked out, and now she’d pinned all her hopes on her granddaughter (while still demanding Lexi get a degree first, “just in case”). Given her background, her grandma had raised Lexi to do stuff like feign helplessness and not eat in front of men.

I mean, I mocked her, but maybe there was something to it. She did always have boyfriends.

Another quick hug and she was gone.

I felt icky for having lied to her. Technically it hadn’t been a lie, because Chase was a boy from work. Just work Lexi didn’t know about. And I did try to tell her, like, three times, but in typical Lexi fashion, she hadn’t let me get a word in edgewise because she was excited about me dating someone.

Someone she thought was Noah. Although Chase had played a character named Noah. So that made it not really a lie, right? (Yes, I knew I was reaching.)

My phone buzzed. And my heart did a happy dance when I saw it was Chase.

I didn’t overthink it. I didn’t list all the reasons why I should say no.

I told him to come by around noon, and he offered to bring a picnic, which I thought was incredibly sweet.

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