Page 31 of The Ugly Stepsister Strikes Back

What if I chose dare? What would he dare me to do? I would probably do whatever it was, especially if it involved kissing him, and would embarrass myself in the process. I liked to pretend I was brave and fearless, but right then I felt like a scared little bird. I hoped my cheeks stayed their normal color.

"Um, truth, I guess."

I felt unbalanced when he looked at me like that, with his eyes all full of intensity and interest. "You never gave me a straight answer the other day about why you're running for president."

I couldn't tell him the actual truth. That I mostly wanted to be president just to knock him off of his pedestal. To make it so he didn't always get everything he wanted. As a bit of payback for not noticing that I was alive.

So instead I told him the other part of my motivation. "To be more involved at school. But mostly so I can bring Hershey bars and Red Bull for lunch if I want to. You?"

"My dad wants me to 'take advantage of every opportunity' that will help me get into Yale."

I recalled our conversation at my house. "Yale and then Harvard Law School, right?"

He looked surprised. "Right. But I'm not interested."

"Then where do you want to go?"

"Not Yale or Harvard. I'm supposed to be a lawyer, a partner in my dad's firm by the time I'm thirty. He's planned out my whole life for me and I don't want it."

I knew exactly how that felt. "So, why don't you tell him?"

He raised a single eyebrow. "Have you told your parents about your manga?"

What could I say? Nothing. He was right. So I sat there in silence.

"Didn't think so."

I sighed and wrapped my arms around my legs, pulling them closer to my chest. "Why can't we just tell them?"

"I don't think we're the first teenagers to ask that."

He smiled, I smiled. We were having another actual moment. It gave me goosebumps, sending tingly shivers up and down my whole body. I rubbed my hands over my arms, hoping he didn't notice my trembling.

Of course, he did. "Hey, are you cold?"

"I'm fine," I started to say, but before I could finish my sentence, he was shrugging off his letterman's jacket and handing it to me. I held it in my hands for a moment, thinking I should return it to him and not be this pathetic. It felt heavy, and the leather sleeves felt smooth against my fingers.

I might have been stupid whenever I got around Jake, but not even I wasthatstupid.

So instead I said, "Thanks," and put the jacket on. If I felt a little foolish at first, now I was chastising myself for not thinking to play the cold card before if this would have been the result. It was too big for me; the sleeves covered up my hands. I'd never worn something that made me feel small. The jacket smelled just like him, and his body warmth still lingered inside. It was like hugging him again. I pulled the coat closed and snuggled into it.

Maybe John Hughes wasn't a total liar.

"Do you think your parents wouldn't like your art?"

I held in a very unladylike snort. "I doubt they would think it was art."

"So you don't even give them a chance to judge for themselves?"

I knew he meant well, but he didn't know what he was talking about. They had been my parents for the last eighteen years, and I had a pretty good idea of what their reactions would be. "They would think it was garbage."

"You don't know that. They might even like it. I think you're afraid of rejection. So you reject everybody else first."

I so didnotdo that. "Thanks for the psychoanalysis, Dr. Phil," I retorted. I looked away from him, willing myself not to cry. My throat felt tight, and an uncomfortable and unfamiliar feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to argue with him, tell him he was wrong. But part of me knew that he was right. Otherwise, I wouldn't have felt the way I was feeling. It was probably some psychological thing because my mom had left me, but in my heart I believed that everyone was out to get me, screw me over and then leave me. I stayed mostly detached from everything and practically everyone. Like Jake said, I rejected them before they could reject me.

But sitting there on the floor with him, I realized how badly I needed that connection. How much I wanted it. I wanted to matter to someone like him.

I didn't know if I could handle Jake's rejection.

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