Page 68 of #Moonstruck

I paused in the doorway, feeling like I should say or do something.

Instead, I just left, my mind and heart jumbled up. What did Ryan want from me?

More important, what did I want from Ryan?

What I wanted and what I needed were two very different things. I had my rules for excellent reasons. I didn’t arbitrarily wake up one day and decide I would stay away from musicians. Yes, they were passionate people who loved music the same way I did, but they were flaky and commitment-shy and broke hearts. Women lined up just to breathe the same air they did. Pleeches were willing to do absolutely anything to be close to regular musicians. They were a thousand times worse when it came to guys like Ryan. I didn’t want to always feel insecure, to always be wondering if my significant other would be faithful to me.

Rules are made to be broken.

Ryan’s words echoed in my head, but he was wrong. Rules were meant to keep us safe. To protect us.

Yes, I was attracted to him. Along with every other heterosexual female on the planet. That didn’t mean I had to act on it. We could stay friends. Good friends. Who enjoyed each other’s company and did not get physical.

Because if I kissed Ryan, there’d be no going back. I’d cross a line I couldn’t uncross. I already felt so many complicated things for him. If I added cuddling, hand-holding, and kissing, I knew it would destroy me.

That’s what I would tell him. I would keep pretending to be his girlfriend for as long as he needed me to, but that had to be it.

When I went around a bend to our cabin, I saw two people pressed up against one of the walls seriously making out. Like they’d chosen that spot solely to make a mockery of my decision. As I got closer, I realized it was Fitz and Piper. They were wrapped up in each other, oblivious to everything around them.

My first reaction was a combination of “Good for them!” and “Ew, disgusting.”

Then my heart and my stomach ached, wanting that kind of passion for myself. With Ryan.

They didn’t even notice as I walked by. So much for Piper never dating someone she toured with.

Rules are made to be broken.

Maybe Ryan was right. And I was wrong. Maybe he wouldn’t crush my soul and my heart. Maybe we had a chance.

Maybe, like Fitz and Piper, I deserved some happiness in my life.

The next day my brothers decided to do some of the activities the ranch provided, like horse roping or cattle riding or something. I just needed my steak to be on a plate. I didn’t need to know what it did during its downtime.

Although everything Fitz said now seemed suspect. Was he really going off with Cole and Parker? Or did he have secret plans to meet up with Piper? Did my other brothers know about them? I guessed they didn’t, because there would be relentless tormenting if they knew.

I wondered what they would do if they found out what I was considering when it came to Ryan.

“What are you going to do today?” Parker had asked just before they left.

“I was planning on going for a walk.” A walk right over to Ryan’s cabin.

My rational, logical self kept reminding me that keeping my distance was the best thing I could do. The smart choice. I didn’t want to lose his friendship.

But you could have so much more than just friendship!I’d never dated anyone seriously before. The idea of Ryan being my boyfriend, for real, was thrilling in a way I hadn’t ever experienced. I wanted to be with him. It was time to take a chance.

After tonight’s show we would have an entire week off. My brothers were going to rent a car and drive over to Billings because Parker’s favorite band (entirely female, naturally) was playing. I had suggested flying home, but nobody else wanted to. I supposed I would tag along but didn’t have any definite plans yet.

Maybe Ryan and I could spend some time together. Just the two of us. With no overprotective siblings nearby.

I decided to text Ryan to see if he was in his cabin. Often in the mornings and afternoons, he had radio and magazine interviews. I couldn’t find my phone anywhere. I had just located it on the back of the toilet (?) when the front door opened and shut.

I heard Fitz’s voice. I wondered if he had a secret rendezvous planned that I was about to mess up.

But Piper wasn’t with him. He was on his phone. “We’ve got a few weeks left on the tour, and then we can get it ready to put on the market. If you’re right about how fast it will sell, we need to be home in order to move our stuff out.”

Unable to believe what I was hearing, I walked slowly to the living room. Fitz’s eyebrows shot up his forehead. He was shocked to see me.

“I’ll call you back later. Thanks.” He hung up.

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