Page 69 of #Moonstruck

“What was that?” I half expected him to say it was none of my business.

“I told you about the house. I’ve been talking to a couple of real estate agents.” He wouldn’t look at me. He went into the kitchen, got out a glass, and filled it with water from the sink.

“You said we might have to sell. We’re making so much money now, and I got us caught up.” I’d been going through all kinds of things to make sure we were okay financially. I’d even been forced to give up my favorite guitar for it.

Fitz drank the entire glass, and I wondered if he was trying to avoid talking about it. But I was not going to let him get out of this conversation, and he seemed to know it. “We’re gambling on the chance that we’ll get more tours and more sales after this. We may not, Maze. This may be all there is. Especially with the way Ryan’s fans are reacting to the news that the two of you are ‘dating.’” He used his fingers to make air quotes. “We may be the most hated band in America by the time we’re done.”

He was saying this was my fault. I had agreed to something I never would have agreed to normally just to keep our mom in Century Pacific. And now he was saying it was my fault?

I was too mad to even speak.

“We have to act like this is all there is. If we sell the house, save all the money, and use just the interest, that will be enough to pay for Mom’s care for as long as she needs it.”

I noticed he didn’t say the rest of her life, even though deep down, we all knew that was the case.

“Especially given how upset Ryan seems to be with you lately, I’ve been really, really worried. We have enough money from the tour to live off for a while, but we both have to realize that this could all go away tomorrow and act accordingly. We may not need the money from the tour once we sell the house, but your relationship will affect our ability to get future gigs. If Ryan’s hurt or bitter, he could ruin our reputation with every venue, every promoter, with a single tweet. We’d never work again.”

While he was not being explicit, his tone implied what he wanted to say. That he had warned me to stay away from Ryan. To not let it become real. Because as I knew too well, every real relationship eventually ended. And then we’d be fired because Ryan wouldn’t want his ex-girlfriend on tour with him. He’d fired the previous opening act for less. I hadn’t listened to Fitz, and now all our futures were threatened because of it.

“I’m sorry, Maze. I know how you feel. It’s how we all feel. None of us wants to sell the house. But we don’t have a choice. It’s what has to be done.”

My brother walked by me and patted me on the shoulder as he left me alone with my thoughts and regrets. I sank down onto the couch, letting my phone slip out of my hand. I couldn’t text Ryan now. I couldn’t do anything to risk my professional relationship with him. This job was too important.

It mattered more than anything else.

Including my heart.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Later that afternoon, my brothers and I ran through our sound check, and I hid in our dressing room until it was time to perform. Then we did our show, ignoring some random boos and name-calling, and I tried my hardest to give everything I had to the music and the audience.

After we were finished, I should have left. Gone back to our cabin and avoided Ryan the same way he’d been avoiding me.

Instead, I stood off in the wings and watched his show. Like I was some kind of glutton for punishment. Reminding myself of all the things I couldn’t have, no matter how badly I wanted them.

I knew every lyric, costume, and scenery change by heart. So when they altered it by bringing out a piano for Ryan, I couldn’t stop my hopeful reaction. Would he want us to duet again? My heart leaped with excitement.

“I know fans hate when musicians do this, but I’ve been working on a new song, and if you don’t mind, I’d like to sing it for you now.” The arena erupted into cheers, which didn’t surprise me. Ryan could have said he was going offstage to poop, and his fans would have been just as thrilled.

He started the song, and I immediately recognized the melody as the one he’d played for me at the after-party. The one he hadn’t finished the lyrics for yet.

She’s the one who’s not easy to impress

She’s the one who’s just as beautiful in jeans or in a dress

She’s the one, but she’ll never confess

And in my dreams she’s there beside me

Her head upon my chest

It’s how she dances when she thinks no one sees

It’s the way her touch knocks me down to my knees

Her laugh, her eyes, her heart, she drives me crazy

She’s my girl

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