Page 79 of #Moonstruck

Terrified.

Loving Ryan made me feel actual terror.

At that, he pulled me into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around me tightly. “You don’t have to be afraid.”

“I know it’s not fair to you.” My words were muffled into his shoulder. “This thing with my dad ... it’s like getting on an airplane for you.”

“Are you saying I give you anxiety attacks?” He teased, but it was kind of true.

“I’m not sure I trust myself and how I’ll react when I’m with you.” Or what kind of lines I might be willing to cross.

His head pressed against the top of mine. “Then trust me. Give me the chance to prove I’m a good guy.”

“I already know you’re a good guy.” That wasn’t the problem.

“Let’s take a chance. Clichéd or not, I think we’d make beautiful music together.”

That made me laugh.

“I want you to be my girlfriend. I don’t know if I’m supposed to ask you to go steady or give you a pin or something, but I want us to be exclusive.”

My heart fluttered giddily at that. “Maybe start watching movies that happened after 1959 so you can have more updated references.”

His arms tightened, and I could feel his smile against my skin. “I want to be ... that guy from that stupid movie you just made me watch.”

He was talking about Lloyd Dobler. “You’re already so much better than Lloyd Dobler.”

Ryan was asking for my trust. For me to let myself feel things for him. To break Rule #1. To give him my heart and hope that he wouldn’t destroy it. To say he was different from every other musician I’d ever met. That what we had was special.

He wanted me to leap without looking.

I’d already taken so many leaps of faith where he was concerned, what was one more?

“If we’re going to do this, be real, exclusive, boyfriend and girlfriend, then I need something from you.” I had the feeling he might not like it.

“Anything. Name it and it’s yours.”

“I need to take things really, really slowly. Like, don’t-come-in-my-room-at-three-thirty-in-the-morning slow. Glacier slow.” Regardless of how attracted I was to him, I wasn’t ready to take that next physical step. “I am planning on waiting until I’m married.”

Ryan nodded, letting out a sigh. “I can’t say I’ve ever had a relationship where that wasn’t involved. Plenty of nonrelationships where it was involved, too.”

“Okay, okay,” I muttered. I got it. I didn’t need to be reminded of his former reputation.

“You’ve been up-front all along about your boundaries, and I love you and respect you and will take things as slowly as you want me to. I think it’ll be hard, but, Maisy? You’re totally worth the wait.”

It was, quite possibly, one of the most romantic things any man had ever said to me. He was right. I did like romantic boyfriends. My heart thudded fast and hard as I realized I could definitely love a man who said things like that.

And that I possibly loved him already.

He let go of me then, and we both sat there motionless in the dark. “So, is that a yes? We’ll be real?”

“You already know the answer.” It had been a yes before he’d even asked. Even before he’d come into my room.

“I know. Just like I know you love me, too, even if you can’t say it yet.” My heart caught at the truth of his words. He leaned forward and pressed a soft, gentle kiss against my forehead. One that stirred up the embers inside me, all poised and ready to ignite once he moved his mouth a little farther south.

He stood up.

“That’s it?” The words burst out of me before I could stop them. “You tell me you love me, and all you’re going to do is kiss me on the forehead?”

---