Page 80 of #Moonstruck

“Glacier slow, sweetheart.”

He shut my door behind him, and I got the distinct feeling that despite the fact that it was a necessity and my idea, I was not going to care for glacier slow.

The next morning I went downstairs and found Bibi in the kitchen, singing to herself as she cooked. “Good morning! Ryan’s already left for the day, but he said to make yourself at home.” Honestly, I was both relieved and disappointed. Mostly relieved. I wasn’t sure I was ready to face him in the cold light of day after our discussion last night and my tantrum over not getting more than a forehead kiss.

“He left you a note.” She pointed to it at the end of the kitchen island.

Ryan could have texted me. Somehow it was more romantic that he’d taken the time to put paper to pen.

I’ll be gone all day, but I should be back in time tonight for dinner. You can use any of my cars today if you want to go shopping or see your mom. Or Bibi can call you a driver if you’d prefer. I hope it’s okay, but I went ahead and made reservations tonight at seven at La Isla Cubana, one of my faves.

I love you.

Ryan

Would I feel the same supercharged thrill every time he said or wrote that he loved me?

Cars? Plural?

“Can I make you some breakfast?” Bibi asked.

“Oh no. You don’t have to do that for me. I’ve been feeding myself for a long time. Do you have any cereal?”

She pointed to the pantry and then to the cabinet where the bowls were. I grabbed a bowl and a spoon from the drawer just beneath it.

“Ryan told me about your parents.”

“He talked to you about me?” I located the shelf with the cereal and sighed. Of course Ryan had only gross flavors like “Pencil Shavings” and “Inedible Tiny Rocks.” I went with “Pencil Shavings.” I found a container labeledSUGARand figured an undercover agent had somehow sneaked behind enemy lines. I hoped dumping a gallon or two of it on top of my cereal would at least make it edible.

“I’m probably not supposed to say anything.” Bibi shot me a conspiratorial smile. “But he talks about you quite a bit. Has for a long time. Between you and me, I think he might even be in love with you.”

That let me know she hadn’t read his note. Where he’d point-blank said it. I put the cereal and sugar on the counter, feeling the blush that started in my cheeks and blossomed out everywhere.

I grabbed some vanilla almond milk (no animal milk of any kind around) and sat at the island to eat. I didn’t respond to her educated and correct guess. Because what could I say?

“If he is, I hope you’ll be careful with him. He has a delicate heart. He’s always been artistic and sensitive. He is strong and confident, but underneath he’s still that little boy who lost his mother and was abandoned by his father.”

That made my own heart twist in sadness because I understood it all too well. “Is that why he uses De Luna instead of his dad’s last name?” It was something my brothers and I had discussed for ourselves, but it had always been important to our mother that we use our father’s name. Out of respect to her, we left it alone.

Ryan’s aunt broke some eggs into whatever batter she was making. “Diego’s father left before he was born. I gave him my last name because I thought his father didn’t deserve that honor since he wouldn’t be around to help raise him. With Ryan, his dad made the choice. He was Ryan Shaughnessy up until his fourteenth birthday. His father thought they would sell more records as Sofia De Luna’s son.”

“That’s ...” I tapped my spoon against my cereal bowl, not sure what to say. “Mercenary of him.”

Bibi nodded. “Now, I think Ryan prefers it for the same reason Diego and I do.”

I chewed my shavings and tried to swallow them down. The sugar was not helping. Maybe I should go shopping. I could buy a dress to wear tonight and food with absolutely no nutritional value that tasted less like wood.

As I sat there, I wanted to ask Bibi questions. About what Ryan was like as a little boy. How Diego could act so cold to me despite his mother being such a lovely, open person. What made her think Ryan loved me? Even though she was being so sweet to me, her implication earlier had been clear, her allegiance spelled out. She was worried about Ryan and didn’t want me to hurt him.

I couldn’t tell her that the opposite was far more likely.

Instead, I asked her what it was like to run his fan club, and that filled up the time until I decided I couldn’t take any more soggy shavings. I rinsed out my bowl and told her I would be heading out to see my mother.

“The car keys are in the mudroom, near the garage. Choose whichever one you want.”

After I retrieved my purse and my phone, I picked a sparkly silver car. Mainly because it was the only automatic and I didn’t know how to drive a stick. I took a picture and sent it to Parker. He was going to die. He loved expensive cars.

I stopped by my favorite vintage store and found an adorable dress to wear to dinner. It was sleeveless with a tucked-in waist and slightly flared skirt. It was a dark-blue-and-white floral print. It hit that sweet spot where it wasn’t too fancy but not too causal, either. Because if we were going to one of Ryan’s favorite restaurants, my guess was that it wouldn’t be a flip-flop-and-tank-top kind of joint.

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