Page 40 of #Awestruck

I set my glass down and leaned against the kitchen counter. “It’s ... complicated.”

“I’m not looking for your Facebook relationship status. Just ... give me a dollar.” She held out her hand.

“I’m not giving you a dollar,” I scoffed. “You don’t need it.”

“Give me the dollar, Ashton.” She added her “don’t screw around with me” voice to her judgy, scary face. Just as it kept her kids in line, I felt compelled to do as she commanded.

“Fine.” I went over to my purse, pulled out a dollar bill, and handed it to her as I plopped down on the couch next to her. “Here’s your dollar.”

She held it aloft. “Now you’ve officially retained me as legal counsel, and anything you say is privileged and will be kept just between the two of us.”

“Where has this been all my life? It would have been very useful when I was in college.”

“Come on. The whole truth.”

I told her everything. It was a relief to tell someone else. Someone not as cutthroat or ambitious as Brenda. Aubrey didn’t care what happened with Evan one way or the other. And I knew she’d always be on my side.

I talked about Brenda’s ambitions, how she’d chosen me for the story because of my past relationship with Evan. How I wanted to take him down and destroy him for revenge. Get him kicked off the Jacks.

“Wow,” she interjected. “I can’t believe you’re out to get Evan Dawson. I’ve never seen anybody pick a fight with the entire state of Oregon before.”

“But maybe he’s not who I thought he was.” I told her about his apologies, about how he claimed he hadn’t been responsible and wanted us to be friends. She didn’t look surprised at this part, and it made me wonder if she’d already had this discussion with him.

“So it’s possible he’s telling the truth, and he is a good guy, and you’re doing something terrible?”

“Well, when you put it like that ...”

“What? It sounds true?”

Aubrey didn’t get it. “I don’t know what’s real and what’s not. That’s what I’m trying to find out. And keeping the engagement going is good for me and my aspirations.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is going to bite you in your aspirations. And I’ll take that water now.”

I got up to get her a glass, thinking about what she said and trying to find a way to explain myself. “I do need this job. My grandma money isn’t going to last for much longer.” My grandmother had left us three girls with trusts that were to be used for college and graduate school. It was a set amount that our father had disbursed to each of us. And since I hadn’t gone to graduate school, I’d been using that money to live off while I worked for free at ISEN. “It’s all about to work out for me. I’d hate to be this close to the end zone and fumble the ball.”

She took the water from me and set it on the coffee table. “Some things are more important than money and jobs.”

“Says the woman who has both. And a great husband and kids.” I put my feet up on the coffee table, turning away from her. “And the money’s not the only thing. Can you imagine how hard Mom and Dad would gloat if I lost my one chance to make this job a reality?”

My parents would literally choke on spewing out “I told you so” over and over again. Nobody wanted me to chase this career path. When I’d told them what I planned on majoring in at college, my dad had spent months quoting statistics at me about the unlikelihood of me ever becoming an announcer for any professional team, let alone a network, while my mother tried appealing to my emotional side. Why did I feel like I had to be an announcer? What was it that made me want to call games? Why was it so important? Could I really not imagine myself doing anything else? Wouldn’t another job make me just as happy and fulfilled? They both did everything they could to discourage it. And I’d always been the perfectly obedient child. Although I’d never had an issue standing up for myself with peers, for some reason I’d always had a hard time when it came to authority figures. I wasn’t the defiant type. But this had been really important to me. So I’d cried all the way through it, but I’d told them it was my money and my choice, and they didn’t get a say.

The only person who’d ever believed in me was my grandmother. One of my earliest memories was of sitting with her at a Jacks game, listening to the play-by-play of the announcer over the loudspeakers and her telling me, “Someday that will be you, my little gingersnap.”

I was pretty sure if I lost my job my parents would never let me hear the end of it about how right they’d been and how I should have listened to them. And that I’d have to move home would just make the entire situation untenable.

“You also shouldn’t be making decisions based on what you think Mom and Dad will do.”

Easy enough for her to say. She was the perfect child making all the perfect choices. Our parents bragged about her constantly, and I’d spent most of my life trying to live up to her. “Maybe this is what’s supposed to happen. Did you ever think that maybe this is the universe giving me the chance to get my revenge? To turn the tables on him?”

“But you’re still sitting at the same table.”

Before I could ask her what that meant, she sighed and put her hand on my shoulder. “I love you, Ashton. And I will support you. I won’t tell anybody else the truth. All the beans will remain firmly unspilled. But I think maybe instead of listening to this boss of yours, you should start listening to what’s inside your heart.”

“Oxygenated blood?”

She shoved me lightly, laughing along with me. “And you have to call Mom. Now. She has been freaking out the entire day.”

I glanced at the clock on the wall. “Isn’t it kind of late for her to be up?”

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