Page 60 of #Awestruck

“I don’t need you both ganging up on me. Don’t you two have some cooking or ballroom dance class to sign up for and never go to?”

Charlotte shrieked from the other room, and Justin said, “I’ll check on her.” Then he gave Aubrey a sweet but lingering kiss that made me feel like I was missing out on something by not being in a relationship.

“Ugh. Get a room,” I told her after he’d left.

“Maybe later,” she said with a twinkle in her eye. “But back to your list of why Evan’s doing what he’s doing.”

“Three, and I know there’s truth to this one because he said as much, he’s using me and this engagement to keep his boss happy while he renegotiates his contract.”

“You’re using him, too, so that one balances out even if it is true.”

I shot her a dirty look while I put a bunch of plates on the bottom rack. “Thanks for the reminder.” Like I’d been unable to forget that fact at all recently.

“What about option four?” Aubrey asked. “The one where he is a nice guy, he actually likes you, and he’s taking advantage of his contract situation as an excuse to spend time with you. A guy who’s using you would not subject himself to all this,” she said, gesturing around the room.

“Do you even hear how crazy that sounds?” As if Evan was pretending to be engaged to me because he liked me. Why was my heart fluttering so hard in my chest? Like a hummingbird wanting to break free from a cage?

Because I want her to be right.

Aubrey frowned. “Why do you have to overanalyze everything?”

“Because that’s how my brain works,” I said. “It is literally what I want to do for a job someday. Watch and analyze and give everybody the play-by-play.”

“No wonder Mom and Dad tried to stop you. It’s super annoying.”

I started the dishwasher up, then dried my hands on a towel. “I don’t know why you’re so interested in Evan and me. You don’t get a trophy for setting people up. Just in case you weren’t aware.”

“What I would get is the chance to see my little sister happy, and that would make me happy.”

I still thought Aubrey was wrong with her earlier assertion. That I used to love Evan. He had definitely been like a religion to me, but I hadn’t been capable of love at that age. Had I cared about him? Had we been friends? Yes. But love?

“Even if what you’re saying is true, and I used to have some kind of feelings for him, that doesn’t really matter now. I don’t know that I can go there with him. I can’t care about him like that again and get my heart ripped out. I wouldn’t be able to take it.”

I hadn’t realized I felt that way until I said it. And I would most definitely end up heartbroken if we dated and he found out about Brenda and the story.

I’d already fallen hard for the guy once. I didn’t need it to happen again.

“Well, I’ve already told you this before, but I think it bears repeating. Stop trying to be logical and rational about everything, and listen to that oxygenated blood in your heart.”

The last time I listened to my heart where Evan was concerned, it got ripped to shreds. “The oxygenated blood just wants more iron.”

“Maybe I should talk to him,” she mused aloud.

“Don’t Evan think about it,” I said.

Both of her eyebrows lifted in delight. “Do you hear yourself? You just said, ‘Don’t Evan think about it.’”

Had I? “I did not. I said, ‘Don’t even think about it.’ That you can’t hear is on you.”

My mother returned to the kitchen and started handing us food to carry out to the dining room. I hoped I was done with the sisterly interference for the day. When I put the mashed potatoes on the table, I glanced up to see Evan sitting with Charlotte at the tea party table my parents kept at their house specifically for her. His knees were practically in his face as he accepted a cup and saucer from her.

I put my hand over my chest because the sight of them together was doing funny and inexplicable things to my heart.

“Ashton!”

I hurried back to the kitchen to grab more food, and before long my mother was calling everyone over to eat.

The twisty heart palpitations got worse when Evan came in, holding Charlotte’s hand.