Page 77 of #Awestruck

“Not if it means you’re the one who’s going to cook it.”

He rolled his eyes at me and smiled. “I was thinking something more like ice cream or frozen yogurt. I didn’t know what flavor you liked best so I bought them all.”

“You ... bought them all? You have seen the size of my freezer, haven’t you?”

“I’ll go back tomorrow and load up on whichever flavors you want around. It’s not a big deal.”

It kind of was a big deal that he’d basically bought all the ice cream in Portland for me because he didn’t know which flavor to get. Wasteful, but sweet. But he’d go back tomorrow? He had practice. He shouldn’t have missed today’s practice, either. I was both touched by his sacrifice and a bit panicked at what it meant that he would miss practice for me. “I’m good with the basics. Maybe not stuff like cookies and cream that has chunks in it. And ... don’t you have to go back to work?”

“I’m sticking around for as long as you need me.”

Now I was really confused. “What about the game on Sunday?”

He was in the middle of loading as much chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla ice cream into the freezer as he could. “The Jacks can play one game without me. We have a backup QB for a reason.”

The reason was not because I’d had emergency surgery. And it was one thing to miss a couple of practices for my sake, but an entire game? That felt ... serious. Loaded. Like it really meant something. Panic won out over feelings of tenderness and gratitude. “What about your contract negotiations?” Wasn’t that the point of all of this? How mad would Chester Walton be if Evan just skipped a game?

He gave me a look that had a very “screw the contract negotiations” vibe to it. “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”

“You don’t have to stay with me. I’ll just call ...” My voice trailed off as I realized there was no one else who could help me. My parents and Aubrey were on that cruise, and Rory had sneaked off to Mexico.

“I’m here. And I plan on being here for as long as you need me.”

The moment felt heavy and important, and I mentally wasn’t equipped to deal with it. “Well, if the Jacks lose to the New York Giants because you’re here with me, I’m never speaking to you again.”

That made him laugh. “Got it. You never did tell me if you want to eat.”

“I’m not really in the mood. I think I’ll just go back to bed.”

And even though I was perfectly capable of walking under my own steam, Evan insisted on escorting me, his arms around me to keep me from falling.

I suspected that it was too late. I don’t know if it was just the drugs talking, but I knew I’d already fallen.

Hard.

Evan stayed that week with me, initially sleeping on my couch. The first few days he woke up every three hours to make sure that I had my pain meds and drank my water. He got all my food for me and generally made my life easier. It amazed me that somebody so tough and masculine could be so gentle and caring. I was beyond touched at all he had sacrificed just to make sure I was okay.

I tried telling him I was fine and that he could go, but the truth was I wanted him to stick around. I felt guilty about him missing so much work, but there was such a comfort and relief at knowing he was always there. And could get me peanut-butter-and-chocolate ice cream anytime I wanted it.

I called Human Resources to let them know about my emergency and the doctor’s advice that I take at least a week off. Evan scanned my medical paperwork and sent it in for me. I continued to feel better, despite the gross scabs I sometimes spit up.

Evan tucked me into bed, as he insisted on doing every night. He kissed me gently on the lips, and I found it frustrating that my accident kept us from kissing the way I wanted to. As he pulled away I grabbed his wrist.

“Stay with me.”

A million different emotions flashed across his face. “What?”

“Just to sleep.” I didn’t want him to leave. I needed him next to me, to curl into him and his strength.

He studied me for a moment, looking as if he was wrestling with his conscience. Then he slid his shoes off and tugged his sweatshirt over his head. My heartbeat throbbed loudly in my ears as he got into bed next to me. I scooted over, making room for him. He raised up his arm, and I rested my head against his shoulder as he pulled me flush against him.

“Good night, Ashton.”

For the first time since I’d gotten sick, I wasn’t able to fall asleep quickly. I snuggled against his side, wrapping my arms around his wide chest. His slow, even breaths let me know that he’d passed out. I reveled in his warmth, in the way his strong arms held me tightly.

Although I’d imagined the fun and physical aspects of sharing a bed with Evan on more than one occasion, what I hadn’t thought about was this. Lying in his arms. Having this feeling of belonging. Of being made ... whole. Complete.

Realizing this was what I wanted in my life. Evan by my side, always.

---