“Wait, what?” I couldn’t breathe. All the oxygen had left the planet, and I was going to suffocate.
In that moment, Evan realized what he had said. The anger left him as he crossed over to take both of my hands in his.
“The woman you love?” I repeated, still unable to believe he’d said it. “That’s me, right?”
“Of course that’s you. I know I haven’t said it yet, and that probably wasn’t the best way, but I do love you.” He let out a self-conscious laugh. “I’ve never said that to anyone I wasn’t related to before.”
Which made it more special. I’d said it once before to another man, but I shouldn’t have. Because what I’d felt for him seriously paled in comparison with what I felt for Evan.
I had to tell him the truth. I couldn’t tell him I loved him until I’d been completely honest with him.
Even though telling him about Brenda and the story might mean I’d never get to say those three words to him.
I was worried it might hurt his feelings when I didn’t say it back, but now that he’d turned the faucet on, he didn’t seem to want to stop talking.
“When you got sick, I realized how serious my feelings were for you. That I was in love with you, and something bad happening to you was the worst thing I could imagine.” He let out a deep breath. “There’s been something about you from the very beginning. Some spark that I couldn’t look away from. Some invisible thread that keeps tugging me closer and closer to you.”
My heart turned completely liquid, melting its way through my body, filling me with a heady warmth. Even though I’d been fighting it at the time, the same was true for me. Always had been where Evan was concerned. There was something about him that kept me coming back even when I didn’t want to.
Like my heart had always known what my head was too stupid to figure out.
“And it’s more than just loving you, Ashton. I want to build a life with you. I can’t imagine a future without you in it.”
The shock of his words hit me like a bucket of ice water. “What ... what are you saying?”
Was he saying what I thought he was saying?
“This isn’t really the place or time,” Evan said. “I don’t know if you see us like that, too, but we can talk about it later.”
Right. Later. Later we would discussif we had a future and whether or not we should get married. That was where this was going, right?
A future we wouldn’t have when I told him everything. The idea of finally spilling my guts made me start to hyperventilate.
I did the only thing I could do. Distract and change the subject. “You were going to punch somebody for me.”
“I’d punch a hundred guys for you.”
“Aw ... that would so land you in prison.”
He laughed and kissed me.
“Let’s get out of here,” I said. We’d put in our time, and I didn’t want Evan to go back into that ballroom and lay Piz out.
I also didn’t want to share him anymore that evening. I wanted to stay in the happy little bubble of “I love you” for as long as I possibly could.
“Let’s go,” he agreed. We ended up going into a fast-food place in our very nice outfits and getting a couple of hamburger meals with chocolate shakes. We had to leave when he started to draw attention, but it took about fifteen minutes. Like nobody could believe that Evan Dawson would descend from the heavens to mingle with mere mortals.
A feeling I understood all too well.
As he drove me back to my condo, I thought about everything that had happened that night. My instinct was to stay quiet, to not let him know exactly what I had tried to do to him and his career. But I couldn’t stand on the sidelines and let him take the hit when I could protect him. If I did, it would be like what he’d done to me in high school. Where he’d stood aside and let his friends attack and hurt me because he was too afraid to lose them.
Ironically enough, now I knew exactly how he’d felt back then. I couldn’t keep the truth from him any longer. I had to warn him. My heart raced inside my chest, nearly choking me. As if it was trying to keep me from speaking.
“Hey, do you remember how I told you that my boss was doing something unethical?” How was I supposed to phrase this? How could I do the least possible damage to our relationship? “They want to come after you. For a story.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time. It’s one of the reasons why I don’t like reporters,” Evan said, lifting my hand to his lips and kissing it. He flashed me a brilliant smile. “Don’t worry. I’m a big boy, and I can take care of myself.”
“I don’t think you understand. My boss is determined to ruin you.”