Page 87 of #Awestruck

“I don’t need your pity!” Brenda said.

She might not have needed it, but I was still going to give it to her. Sort of. “I’m sorry you got your one feeling hurt, but that’s not Evan’s fault. He’s a good man, and I won’t help you do anything to ruin his name.”

If I hadn’t been able to stand up for him before, I was certainly going to do it now. She was not going to use me to hurt him. It was so petty and selfish. And ... stupid. Who did something like this?

You did,that little internal conscience of mine whispered.

It disgusted me that I’d been willing to wallow in the muck with her. I’d put my head in the sand, prioritizing my career and my fears over doing what was right. I’d put them above Evan, a man who loved me. The man I loved.

I’d betrayed Evan and what we shared, and that realization made my stomach plummet down to my toes.

I didn’t deserve him. I didn’t deserve our relationship. I’d been such a coward.

No more.

I was taking a stand.

Brenda must have seen my conviction on my face because she tried again. “Whatever job you want. Whatever department. You choose your salary. Name it, and it’s yours. All you have to do is go on the show and say five words: ‘I slept with Evan Dawson.’”

Funnily enough, I wasn’t even tempted. There was nothing she could have said to me to change my mind. I was going to do the right thing. No matter what it cost me.

“Ashton?”

No. No, no, no, no. This was not happening.

I turned in horror to see Evan standing behind me, wearing a mask of confusion, disbelief, and heartache.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, the words little more than a whisper.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

He’d heard me. There was no question of that. Little fissures formed on the surface of my heart, threatening to break. This was not how I’d wanted him to find out. I felt like I was going to throw up.

Brenda started directing the cameramen. “Turn the cameras this way. Get them both in the shot. Hurry.”

“They asked me to come onSports Todayto talk about yesterday’s game. But I guess that was all a ruse. Were you really going to go on air and say we’d had sex?” Evan asked.

This could not be happening. “What? No! I told Brenda no repeatedly. I would never do that to you.”

“Then what is going on?”

I wanted to ask him to go someplace quieter, somewhere without an audience, but I didn’t think he would leave if I asked him to. “A while back Brenda, who I’m sure you recognize, asked me to find out the truth about you. About whether or not you were actually a virgin. So I started talking to people you’d dated, like Whitley. Hanging out with you to uncover the truth. And then when you wanted to fake the engagement, Brenda thought—”

“She thought it would give you credibility,” Evan finished, the disgust in his voice evident. “So you’ve been lying to me this entire time. While I was falling in love with you, it was all just ... a job? A story?”

“No! It started out that way, and I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t figure out a way. My feelings for you are real. That was never a lie, even when I wanted it to be.”

My words didn’t seem to have any effect on him. “You couldn’t figure out a way to tell me the truth? It’s not hard. You just open your mouth and say the words. You didn’t want to face the consequences of your actions, so you just lied and lied. I worked so hard to earn your trust, and the whole time you were lying and unworthy of mine.”

What could I say to that? He was right. There had been a way to tell him; I just hadn’t wanted to. I’d been a selfish chicken who was unworthy of his trust.

“I told her to have sex with you. To seduce you. Did she do it?” Brenda asked, the malicious glee in her voice evident.

The pain in Evan’s eyes increased, which didn’t seem possible. “The night of the reunion, was that what you were doing? Trying to seduce me for some story?”

How could he think that? “Evan, no. I would never do that. I was the one who stopped it.”

“You heard what I said,” Brenda kept interjecting, and I seriously considered punching her in the face just to get her to shut up. “I offered Ashton her dream job. Whatever she wants, as long as she tells the world all about you and your relationship. Do you really think she would turn that down? If you know anything about her, it’s how ambitious she is.”

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