Page 94 of #Awestruck

Why had Evan recommended me? And why now? Did this mean something? Had he started to forgive me? Or was he just being nice?

But why would he be nice?

Hope bloomed in my chest. Did he still love me? Was there a chance for us to get back together?

Before I could consider the repercussions too closely, I took out my phone and texted him.

A lot? It meant everything. That he was thinking about me. Still cared. Had worried about me. But that was too much to put into a supposedly casual text.

I saw the three scrolling dots, and my breath kept catching, waiting to see if he would actually reply or if he would just ignore me.

He hadn’t asked me. It was almost more like a command. Maybe he was afraid to ask. Fearful that I might say no.

He couldn’t possibly have known there was no way I could have denied him anything right then. And of course I was going to the game. Even if I’d been skipping games lately, it was the last playoff round before the Super Bowl, and there was no way I was going to miss it. I needed my Jacks to make a repeat appearance.

I needed Evan to have all the success in the world because he deserved it. My hands were shaking so hard that I had to retype my reply, like, fourteen times because I kept hitting the wrong buttons.

He didn’t respond right away, but I didn’t need him to. I mean, I would have liked it, but it was enough that he was actually communicating with me. I didn’t need for everything to be resolved today.

But my conviction to stay strong wasn’t helped when he texted:

Knowing that Evan missed me gave me an inner strength I hadn’t felt in a long time.

The next day went amazingly well. The interview was a slam dunk—it was like the job had been tailor-made for me. Marian told me there was a lot of room for advancement after I told her my hope was to be a commentator for KPRD someday. She mentioned that Keith Collinsworth planned on retiring in a few years, and they would find his replacement in-house. And they would support me along that career path. Marian and I were completely in sync in every question and answer, so much so that I felt like I’d known her for forever. At the end she told me to “expect to hear from us very, very soon.”

Thankfully, she didn’t ask me for any references from my old position.

And sure enough, as promised, she called the next day to offer me the job. I eagerly accepted and went out with my family to celebrate. I was tempted to call Evan and invite him along but worried it might be too much too soon. I didn’t want to rush him if he was getting to a point where he felt like he could forgive me. Maybe we wouldn’t get back together right away, and that had to be okay. Just having the chance to make this better was enough for now.

The morning of the game I tailgated with my parents, wanting to be close to where Evan was going to be. He was most likely already inside, and it took everything I had to not go searching for him.

Rory told me that, out of solidarity with me, my family had stopped using Evan’s luxury box when we broke up. I didn’t even know if it was still available to us, and I didn’t ask because I didn’t want to hear that the answer was no. We sat in our old season ticket seats. Aubrey and Justin had left the kids at home as it was a ridiculously cold day. The sun was shining, the sky a bright blue that reminded me of Evan’s eyes, but super cold.

When the team came out on the field, I got to my feet, trying to find his jersey. I spotted him, and my heart skipped about thirty beats in a row. It’s a wonder I didn’t pass out cold on the concrete.

The pregame formalities were over, and the kickoff commenced. Everyone yelled, “Timber!” but I was totally focused on Evan standing on the sidelines.

And how nicely he filled out his football pants.

Now whenever the Jacks offense went in to play, I was more worried than ever about him getting sacked. One, because I didn’t want him to get seriously hurt or maimed or concussed in any way; two, because he needed to keep playing so that the Jacks would win the game and go to the Super Bowl; and three, because I really wanted him to be conscious so we could talk after the game.

Because that had to be the whole point of this, right? That’s why he wanted me at the game? So we could sort things out?

Evan took a few hits that had me back up on my feet and yelling at the refs, but nothing he didn’t stand up and walk away from.

At the end of the first half, the Jacks were up by a touchdown. I would have preferred a much bigger lead. I turned to Rory. “Do you want to get some snacks? Stop by the bathroom?”

Weirdly, she wouldn’t meet my eyes. “Nope. I want to stay right here. And so do you.”

“Why?”

“No reason.”

I was about to ask her what she was up to when a cameraman turned his camera on us. My whole family was up on the Jumbotron for the kiss camera. So my parents kissed, and Aubrey and Justin kissed. It was sweet, if a tad bit nauseating.

When they were done, the cameraman continued to stand there, his camera pointed at me. I turned toward Rory. “Just so you know, I don’t care what he wants. I’m not kissing you.”

“Good. I don’t want you to kiss me.”