Page 105 of Hypnotized By Love

“I apologized to him, and he was really gracious about it and forgiving.” I knew Bridget didn’t mean her words to be an accusation, but they almost felt like one, stinging and barbing my still rapidly beating heart. “I asked him about the article. He told me that he had written it before he came back to Playa Placida. That he had a lot of wrong ideas about hypnosis and how it works, and that the editor who hired him had intended for it to be a hit piece. So Mason wrote what he was supposed to write.”

That didn’t make things better. It just confirmed what I’d suspected—that he was willing to put his career before mine.

“Then he came back home and realized that he was wrong in his assumptions, and he told the editor he wouldn’t write the article that the editor wanted. He said he realized that everything he believed about hypnosis was incorrect and that he would never write anything that would hurt you.”

White light burst behind my eyes, silencing all of my thoughts and making me go still, my ears ringing. Mason had already told the editor he wouldn’t write the article?

Her words shocked me, like someone had punched me in the stomach. My head started to spin with panic as I took in what she was saying. “So what I found was an early draft of an article he refused to finish writing.” The words felt thick in my mouth.

She nodded. “Yes. He loves you. And Sierra thinks you love him.”

“I do love him,” I said as tears began streaming down my face. “I’m sorry. I can’t stop crying. I’m like some kind of faucet.”

Bridget got up and went over to my nightstand and grabbed a box of tissues. She handed them to me. “Don’t be sorry,” she told me. “Just don’t make a mistake and lose someone you obviously care a lot about. You wouldn’t be crying like this if you didn’t.”

She was right, and I nodded.

“Don’t let another six years go by,” she said. “I think you’ll regret it.”

I nodded again and then blew my nose. “What if he’s lying?”

She gave me an incredulous look. “Why would he lie to me? As far as he knows, you and I aren’t speaking to each other. The bottom line is you either trust him or you don’t. I know I’m no relationship expert, but you’ve been afraid to trust him and believe good things about him for a very long time. I understand that it’s a hard habit to break, but you need to find a way because I don’t think you want to lose Mason.”

Sometimes it took another person holding up a mirror to realize things about yourself. I was afraid to trust Mason. I’d been afraid totrust anybody outside my family. Bridget was one of the few people I’d let into my heart, and even she’d ended up betraying me.

But that was no way to live. If I kept everyone at arm’s length, yes, maybe I wouldn’t get hurt, but I wouldn’t get the joy from loving someone, either.

I had jumped to the worst possible conclusion about Mason because of the internal fear I’d had that he was going to hurt me. It became like a self-fulfilling prophecy, almost like I was trying to will it into being. To find a reason to be angry with him, to again falsely accuse him, so that I wouldn’t have to trust him.

Especially after I’d promised him I wouldn’t do that again. Instead I’d done it the first chance I got. Guilt and shame filled up my stomach, making it turn over.

Things needed to change. I didn’t want to keep everyone else in the world outside my walls. I wanted to let them in.

I wanted real joy and love in my life.

“I don’t want to lose him,” I admitted. “I cut him out of my life before, and it was a colossal mistake. I don’t want to keep making the same mistake. I don’t have a lot of people that I love, but he is definitely one of them. And so are you.”

She let out a short gasp and then said, “I am?”

“Bridget, of course you are. And it’s going to take me some time, but I don’t want to lose you, either.”

Now she was the one brushing tears away from her cheeks. “You won’t lose me. I’m willing to wait for however long it takes.”

I reached out to hug her and she held on to me so tightly. I had missed my friend.

People made mistakes all the time. Including me. I had made more than my fair share, actually. I had hurt people with them. Who was I to judge Bridget for doing the same thing?

Or Mason, for that matter?

I really had been the world’s stupidest person ever.

I had to talk to him and see if I could make things right.

As if she could hear my thoughts, Bridget said, “Just FYI, he’s home right now. Don’t let him be the one who got away.”

He already had been the one that got away, and I’d spent the last six years missing him.

While I was probably going to make all-new mistakes in the future, it was time to try to fix this one.

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