Page 56 of Hypnotized By Love

“I’m going through the doggy door,” I told him. He looked like he was about to bust out laughing.

“Shut up,” I told him.

He held up both of his hands, like he was being arrested. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You said it with your face,” I said. “Sierra and I used to sneak in this way all the time in high school.”

“Speaking of dogs, where is Bosco?”

Our family dog, Bosco, had adored Mason. “He died a few years ago, and Mom hasn’t had it in her to adopt a new dog. I think my dad will just show up with a puppy one day, if I know him.”

I knelt down on the porch and waved Mason over to the side because I didn’t want to flash him as I crawled through the door. “Stand over there, please.”

He did it without asking why. But he did say, “I’m not sure this is a good idea. I don’t think you currently have the right amount of coordination to get through that door.”

“I can crawl,” I said dismissively. I put my arm and one shoulder through the door. It was a bit narrower than I remembered. I put my other arm and shoulder through so that my top half was in the house and my bottom half was still outside, then tried to move forward.

But I couldn’t.

I was caught.

Despite tugging hard, I could feel that my dress was stuck on something, holding me fast.

“Trouble?” Mason asked.

“I’m clearly stuck,” I said, exasperated.

“I guess this is what happens when you still live at home and have to sneak in like you’re a teenager,” he said in a smug way that made me want to kick him.

“You live at home with your mom!”

“I live in the guesthouse.”

“That’s not any different,” I protested.

“It is.”

“I am stuck like Winnie the Pooh here. Could you just help me and feel superior to me later?”

“Seeing as how I’m not stuck in a dog door, I’m kind of feeling superior to you now. You always thought you were smarter than me.”

“Only empirically,” I retorted.

He laughed, and I worried that we might wake up my parents if we weren’t quieter.

“Are you going to help me, or are you going to keep making fun of me?” I asked.

“There’s no joy in mocking you right now. It’s too easy. I wouldn’t even get any pleasure out of it. Hang on.”

I could feel his hands near my waist, tugging on me as he looked for what was holding me captive. I wanted to disappear. This was what happened when you thought you had reached your maximum capacity for embarrassment; the universe found a way to show you that it wasn’t true. I thought I’d reached rock bottom, but it turned out there was a basement subfloor for me to crash through.

“I got you. Hang on.”

He started pulling me backward, and I heard the sound of my dress ripping. I supposed that couldn’t be helped, but he tugged me back into the yard when he could have just as easily pushed me forward.

Although he probably would have had to put both of his hands on my butt to push, and that would have made everything even more humiliating. It seemed he’d picked the least miserable option for both of us.

“I’m sorry about your dress,” he said after he’d helped me clear the door. “Did you want to give the dog door another shot?”

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