Page 103 of Party Favors

I handed it to him and tried to tamp down my annoyance. He was calling medollagain. He probably meant it as an endearment, and once upon a time, that was how I’d seen it.

But now it felt demeaning.

Because I realized that Ihadbeen Adrian’s doll. Never speaking up for myself, being there whenever he felt like playing with me, doing whatever I could to please him and make his life easier. I wasn’t myselfwhen I was with him. I was just waiting around on a shelf for him to pick me up when he was ready.

I’d had no life outside of the one he’d given me.

I knew everything there was to know about Adrian. How he liked his coffee, what laundry detergent his housekeeper used. What sports teams’ games he recorded and his waist size in pants.

I’d had a crush based on nothing.

Because while I knew all those details, I didn’t know him as a person.

Not like I did Max.

Adrian wasn’t a bad guy. He was just completely different from me. He didn’t understand me the way that Max did.

This was a big mistake.

“You’re being awfully quiet,” he said.

It was true. “I wouldn’t let you watch my puppy for a weekend. Or have two drinks with you.”

He was completely confused. “I don’t understand.”

“What happened with Colette?” I asked.

His face fell. “I don’t know. Things were going so well, and out of nowhere she decided that I wasn’t as serious about our relationship as she was and she broke up with me. I was going to propose to her. I flew across an ocean to meet her family. I dropped everything in my life to go with her to France. How could she think that I wasn’t as serious about her?”

“Did you tell her?”

“Why would I have to tell her? She should have been able to see from my actions how much I love her.” He paused. “Loved her. Past tense. It’s over.”

“I don’t think it is. Colette needs the words. Actions aren’t enough. Tell her that you love her. That you were going to propose. You should go and fix things with her. I can tell that you don’t really want me here. You miss her.”

He gave me a wry smile. “I knew you had a crush on me. I probably asked you out tonight to stroke my ego a little.”

“Used to have a crush,” I corrected him. “And I think I had it for so long because you weren’t available and commitment has always been scary to me. But I’m in love with someone else. And I think I said yes to you because I was unfairly testing him. I wanted him to tell me not to come, but he didn’t. And I didn’t use my words, either. I was trying to push him into the response I wanted instead of talking about my feelings.”

I stood up. There was no point in staying here and continuing this farce. “I think we should call it a night. Don’t lose Colette. If you want, I will order her the biggest and best bouquet of flowers tomorrow. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”

Adrian smiled at me. “You’re a close second. I hope you know that you’re an important person in my life.”

I was his assistant, nothing more, nothing less. I’d never really mattered to him outside of what I could do for him. I’d made his life as easy as possible. No wonder I was so important to him. But it was kind of him to say as much, no matter how deluded it was.

Then he wrecked what little goodwill I had toward him when he added on, “You’ve always been so reliable and sturdy. Like a good workhorse.”

He saw me as a farm animal. Max treated me like I was sexy and desirable, and Adrian thought I was Mr. Ed.

I didn’t tell him that, though. There was no point in insulting him when I was hoping to get promoted. “Thanks, Adrian.”

He walked me to the door and we said good night. I briefly wondered if it was the shortest date on record as I walked down the long hallway to the elevators.

I thought of what Vella had said earlier—how I had sacrificed so much for Adrian. Over and over again I’d given him the absolute best of me, giving up so much of my unpaid free time to make him happy, hoping to get some tiny compliment from him.

What had I sacrificed for Max, a man I was actually in love with?

Some of my time in planning the baby shower for his cousin, but I could have done that in my sleep, and I was getting paid for it.

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