Page 31 of Party Favors

“Why not?”

“He didn’t want to be a husband or a father, and he’s much happier somewhere out in Oregon pretending I don’t exist. With his new wife and new children that he spends all kinds of time with.”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Don’t be,” I said with a wave of my hand. “What’s sad is I don’t even miss him. I did a lot in the beginning, but after someone rejects you so many times, there’s only so much you can take. I had to figure out a way to move on with my life and be happy, and I did.”

“Someday I hope to be as evolved as you.”

I didn’t feel very evolved. Sometimes I felt like I had made the wrong choice and that maybe I should have tried harder and not written my dad off completely. “I think maybe it’s better to have the relationship if you can. Not if it’s toxic or harmful, obviously. But I do worry that I’ll regret things when my father passes away. That I’ll wish I’d tried harder. So good for you that you are.”

He shrugged. “We’ll see.”

“Can I tell you something?” I asked as we turned a corner, approaching my building.

“You’ve known me for about an hour. You can tell me anything. I have an open-shoulder policy.” At my confused expression, he added, “In case you need a shoulder to cry on.”

I smiled. “No crying. I just needed to let you know that it is entirely unfair that you are both nice and hot. No one should have two ways to get free stuff.”

“And here I was thinking the same thing about you.”

Panic and elation slammed into me at the same time. Was he serious? Kidding? Being polite? Facetious?

I had no way of knowing.

While I would usually keep such thoughts to myself, to my dismay I admitted, “Max, I know I’m not hot.”

He came to a halt. “What liar told you that?”

Uh, every man I’d had feelings for since I’d hit puberty? You didn’t get stood up, rejected, abandoned, and ditched out on as many times as I had without developing an inferiority complex.

I studied his face, adrenaline flooding through me as that temporary bravado left my system. I saw a slight smile. Kindness. Friendliness.

What I did not see was overwhelming desire, lust, or any indication that he was about to take me in his arms and kiss me senseless. As if he couldn’t resist me for one more minute.

He devoted his life to charity and rescued people. That apparently included sad, insecure women with no love life to speak of.

Feeling ridiculous, I started walking toward my building. I was always creating castles in the sky. Which was fine when it came to my work but wasn’t very practical for my personal life. I was sure it had something to do with my father being terrible and wanting a fairy tale, because reality, so far, had pretty much sucked. I dug into my purse and got my keys out, preparing myself to make a quick and nonhumiliating exit.

When I reached my building, I nodded to Casimir, the night doorman. He opened the front door, greeting us. I said hello and Max actually introduced himself to Casimir, proving that he was just nice to everyone he met.

I tried to swallow down the nervous blob that had lodged there. Vella didn’t care what other people thought. She did whatever she wanted when she wanted all the time.

I’d never been that brave.

He went to the elevators with me. “Thank you so much for walking me home,” I said, ready for this night to be over and for my heartbeat to return to a normal rhythm. It hadn’t pumped correctly since Max had walked into my life.

“Thank you for letting me,” he said.

Now what? “Okay, good night.” I pushed the up button and he reached out to touch my arm.

“Can I tell you something?” he asked.

“Sure.”

“You’re really easy to talk to.”

Like a good buddy or a kid sister? That somehow just made everything worse. “You too.” I crouched down and rubbed Basta’s ears, which she seemed to enjoy.

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