Page 142 of Falling Overboard

“Do you believe me?” I asked. “I didn’t cheat on you. I wouldn’t.”

“I don’t know what to believe,” she said.

We had to talk away from all these people.

“Stay in Portofino,” I said.

“What?”

“We need to talk this out and we can’t do it now. I have to go out with these tools and finish up this charter. But when it’s over we can meet up. I should have a couple of days off.”

“I—” I saw her hesitation. She wanted to believe me.

But she didn’t seem to know whether or not she could trust me.

And that destroyed me.

The boat pulled up to the dock and Pieter hopped out to tie off the lines and keep the tender in place. The crew helped the guests out and Thomas came over to grab Lucky’s suitcase and put it on the dock.

She went to climb out and I grabbed her by the wrist. “Please, Lucky.”

“I’ll think about it,” she said.

I hurried to catch up with her as she wheeled her suitcase down toward the street. “I’ll call. And text. I will come back here as soon as I can.”

She nodded and then went off in the opposite direction of the guests and the crew.

And as I watched her go, I was struck with a sick feeling like this was the last time I was going to see her.

I didn’t know where it came from but I wanted to run after her.

Lucky wouldn’t like that. She needed to sort things out and I would have to wait. I knew that she would find a way to leave without talking to me face-to-face. She was scared and running.

I didn’t know how to fix this. One of the things my therapist and I had talked a lot about was how, after Harper’s death, I didn’t want to let go of things, especially people. But that if I held on too tight, they would slip through my fingers. I would lose them anyway.

Now I knew exactly what she had meant. If I chased after Lucky, tried to force her to talk to me, I sensed that I would ruin any future we might have. I had to back off and give her the space she needed even if it killed me.

But there was a phone call I could make so that at least one of her dreams would come true.

Chapter Forty-Seven

Lucky

“Hunter!”

Turning my head I saw that he was still standing there, watching me go. Thomas was calling for him, telling him to join them. I stared at him for a beat before resolutely spinning around and walking away.

My heart ached so badly that I had to put my hand over my chest. I found a quiet café and ordered tea. I had to figure out what to do next. I could do what he asked. I could stay in Portofino. It would be easy to change the times on my ticket and leave a few days later.

But all I could think about was all the men who had tricked me before. Who had lied to me and used me and cheated on me.

Maybe that was unfair to Hunter, that I was making him bear the brunt of my past heartache and broken trust.

I had lost so much, so many people I loved, and I recognized that I was overly cautious about being hurt again. Was I looking for a way out? An escape hatch to make sure that Hunter couldn’t destroy me completely?

There was no way for me to reconcile the man I thought I knew and loved with him kissing Emilie. It was so unlike him.

The problem was that I needed to get away. To see if my feelings were real, to figure out how much of a part proximity and sea goggles had played.

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