Page 147 of A Tribute of Fire

What should I say? I didn’t want to lie. “No one important. It was just when he said—”

“He? It was a man?” Zalira immediately asked.

“Was it Jason?” Ahyana batted her eyes and then laughed.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said. It wasn’t a denial because I didn’t want to do that. To say it wasn’t him would be like denying what had passed between us and I couldn’t do that.

Suri’s knowing expression made me feel guilty about keeping secrets from them, but I wasn’t going to tell them about what had happenedwith me and Jason. It was too special to share with other people. I didn’t want to invite their opinions or their judgments, their gentle teasing. I would keep it between him and me.

My lips tingled as I thought of him and I couldn’t help but reach up to brush them with my own fingertips, though it was an extremely poor substitute. I wanted to kiss him again, especially given how fantastic he was at it.

I reminded myself that he was so good at kissing because he had extensive experience. I somehow always forgot about that when I was with him. I should have remembered it. I should keep it in the forefront of my mind to recall if I ever saw him in person again. Because the sort of man who flitted from one woman to the next like a honeybee with a garden full of flowers was not the right type for me.

My parents were utterly devoted to each other. Haemon and Doria had been the same way. I expected total fidelity and adoration in a relationship.

Jason had shown me repeatedly that he was not the faithful type.

I swallowed back a groan of annoyance. Why did I keep thinking about this? None of it mattered. He wasn’t going to be anything in my life. Yes, he had kissed me so thoroughly that every other man would have paled in comparison if I hadn’t taken my vows, but we wouldn’t end up together.

Despite understanding the reality of my situation, I found myself thinking of how he’d helped me.

To be fair, he had done more than just help me. He had saved Quynh’s life. My life. Had made it possible for me to join the temple. He had helped me break into government buildings. Assisted me in getting a message to my parents.

He would do all of it again, and more, if I but asked. I knew that.

I thought about him saying that I should reach out to him if I planned on sneaking out again. It was so tempting to wait a few days and then send him a note and ask him to meet up with me. Although I wasn’t exactly sure how I would get in contact with him. Presumably if Iaddressed something to theNikoshe would receive it, but then someone in the temple would be sure to notice that I’d written a letter.

It didn’t matter either way. I had to push those impulses down and keep them buried. Things between us had to be at an end.

“That doesn’t sound like a no to me,” Ahyana said to Zalira, and they both smiled.

I sensed that they were going to push the issue further but Io spoke up. “Did you get your message sent to your parents?”

“Yes, I did.” I was very grateful for the change in subject. I got the feeling I would eventually break and tell them every detail if they kept asking me about it.

“I’m so glad,” she said and her relief was evident. “Now that they know you’re safe, this is over. We can all go back to the way things were.”

That wasn’t true, though. Suri frowned at me.

Tell them.

I knew exactly what she meant. She was talking about my plans to break into the treasury. I wasn’t sure how she’d figured it out. Had I talked about it in my sleep?

Or had the goddess appeared to her and told her?

There wasn’t going to be an answer for me either way. Suri would stay silent.

Why would Suri or the goddess want me to tell our adelphia about it? Was that even fair to them? Wouldn’t it be better to keep them in the dark, to not risk their place here at the temple by making them feel obligated to either help me or keep my secret? Although I was keeping so many secrets that it would be nice to have one less to worry about.

The words formed on my tongue, as if they wanted me to speak them into existence. The urge to do so was overwhelming.

Zalira and Ahyana resumed sparring with their fists.

Io said, “No more sneaking around. No more breaking rules. Everything is going to be calm and peaceful.”

I had to do it. “Not quite. I need to break into the temple treasury.”

CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

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