Page 153 of A Tribute of Fire

But I did feel something overwhelming and powerful for him. I missed him. I wanted to see him again. My dreams were just exercises in frustration. There, but not there. Not real.

I thought of him often, wondered what he was doing. If he was out at sea, what kind of places he was visiting.

The various women he was probably consorting with.

At least I could identify that burning feeling as jealousy. Women were probably throwing themselves at him and I couldn’t even blame them. I thought of how they weren’t bound by lifelong vows and were free to be with him in any way that they chose and it made me feel physically ill.

It was so unfair. Why would he think of me when he could have anyone else?

My jealousy had to mean something, didn’t it? Was it an indication of love? I wished that I could speak to my mother about it. I was sure that she would have had very wise insight into my situation.

I tried to imagine what she might ask me. She would ask me to qualify the feelings I did understand. I knew that I cared about him and his well-being. I wanted him to be safe. I looked forward to going to sleep because I knew he’d be there.

With a sigh I told myself that this was the absolute last thing I should be worried about. I couldn’t let him consume my waking thoughts as well as my sleeping ones.

We had an office to raid tonight. That should be my focus.

Keeping myself and my sisters safe.

Not fixating on the fact that Jason had pledged himself to me, willing to lay down his own life for me.

With a wave of sadness, I realized that even if he hadn’t declared his love, it was the closest I would ever come to it.

“Are you ready?” Ahyana asked me, Kunguru perched on her shoulder. It was approximately three o’clock in the morning and the four of us were standing in the doorway of the dormitory. Zalira was back in our room, where she had used extra blankets to make it seem as if we were all still sleeping soundly in our beds.

“Yes.” My toes were tingling, my heart thumping, my nerves shaking. I was excited. Ready to go. It felt so good to be taking action. Dream Jason had been correct—I’d been wasting my time. I’d thought I was being cautious, gathering information, but I shouldn’t have waited for so long.

There was too much at stake.

This was going to work. It had to.

After Calliope passed by us, Ahyana whispered, “Go!”

Suri, Io, and I darted out into the night. It was a straight shot to the administrative building and Ahyana would be able to keep an eye on us while we ran. We had agreed for her to make a birdcall if she saw anything out of the ordinary.

We were about to enter the building when Suri yanked both of us against a wall. We heard several priestesses pass by, speaking to one another. It was a very odd hour for people to be out socializing, but they weren’t guards. I wanted to peek out and see who it was, get closer to hear what they were talking about, but Suri put her hand on my chest and pushed me back.

I stayed put and we waited for the group to pass. When they did, Suri led the way and we reached the administrative building and raninside. We waited several heartbeats, and when no one challenged us, Io said, “I’ll keep watch at the door.”

Suri nodded and then gestured toward the east. Zalira had given her the task of keeping a lookout for the guard that would be coming from that direction. It allowed us to triangulate our watch so that every angle would be covered.

“Let us know when you see her,” I said. She nodded. She was going to throw a rock our direction against the wall. Something that wouldn’t seem too alarming but would let us know.

Once Suri was gone, Io took her spot just inside the door. “Hurry.”

I ran up the stairs and reached the office. I had brought a hardwood staff that I could hopefully use to pry open the door if necessary. It was because of something my father always used to say, quoting Archimedes:Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world.

I didn’t need to move the world, just this door. It would be a last resort, though. Theano would certainly notice if I pried her door open. I set it down on the floor. I said a quick prayer to the goddess and used my throwing daggers to begin picking at the lock.

I had just inserted one when I was overwhelmed with a sense of dread. Something was wrong.

Io needs you.

I didn’t know where the voice had come from, only that I felt compelled to listen.

Io hadn’t called out or made a sound. A part of me thought I was being silly, imagining things. If she needed me, she would let me know.

That urge returned again, stronger. It was like someone had hooked my stomach and was pulling me away from the door.

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