Page 114 of A Vow of Embers

“I feel scared.” I whispered the words, not sure he could hear them.

“Don’t be scared,” he immediately responded. “You survived and I’m here. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

A light feeling in my heart swelled. “Do you mean that?”

“Yes,” he said.

It didn’t ease my fear. I still felt frightened of every shadow, every noise. I’d never felt so vulnerable as I had in that washroom. I’d been somewhere that I’d assumed was safe and had let my guard down completely. Any other time I’d fought for my life I’d been prepared. Armed.

Not naked and flailing around, doing my best to survive. “I don’t think I’ll be able to take a bath alone again.”

“If you need me to come and scrub your back, I’ll clear my schedule,” he said in a joking tone. It made me smile.

I knew I should stop talking. I needed to let him sleep even if I worried that I might never be able to sleep again. I couldn’t get the images from earlier out of my head. I kept feeling myself getting pushed down into the water, fighting for breath, thinking that I was going to die. I began to tremble as I fought to get my breathing back under control. I had to calm down. The danger had passed.

Then Xander was there, pulling me into his arms. As if he knew exactly what I needed. I laid my head against his shoulder and he held me close to his side while he lay on his back. His lips brushed against my forehead and he murmured, “Go to sleep.”

My trembling subsided, and listening to his breathing helped to ease my own. I rested my hand above his heart, feeling it beat beneath my palm. Steady and strong.

Just like him.

I let my eyelids drift shut.

“You called me Xander.” He breathed the words out softly.

“That’s your name,” I said.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt as safe, as cared for, as protected, as I did in this moment.

My last thought before I drifted off was that lying in Xander’s arms made me feel like I had come home.

Chapter Thirty-Six

I was in a dark cave, by myself. I could hear the ocean outside and I was fumbling my way along a wall, as there was no light. I ran into a small opening and I headed that direction, letting my sense of touch guide me as I shambled along.

The opening ended in a massive cavern. The roof had crumbled in and was open to the sky. It was too high up for me to climb out, but at least now I could see what I was doing.

A dark body of water lay in the center. It terrified me. I was desperate not to go anywhere near it but the ledge was so thin. I saw a bigger landing on the wall opposite to where I was. I carefully edged my way across. It probably would have been easier to jump in and swim but I had to stay away from the water.

When I made it over to the other side, I realized the wall here was completely smooth, polished, unlike all the other rocky, rough walls. I walked over to it and saw that it was a giant mirror. My reflection gazed back at me. I was a mess. I tried to smooth down my hair, adjust my tunic.

I leaned my head to the right as I realized that there was something strange about this mirror. I ran my fingers along the surface. A cloud overhead drifted away, letting the sun shine directly onto the mirror. The entire thing was green.

Like a gem.

What do you wish to see?a disembodied voice asked me.

I looked back at the mirror and only saw myself. “I want to see my fate.”

My own image faded and a different one came into view. It was Quynh. She melted away and then I saw Kallisto. Followed by my adelphia. Demaratus. My regiment. My parents.

“I don’t understand,” I said. “These are just people I love.” How could this be my fate?

When my parents melted away, the next person I saw was my brother.

“Haemon,” I breathed out, and he smiled at me, as if he could see me. “I miss you so much. I think about you every day.” He didn’t try to speak. Doria walked into view and he put his arm around her. They both smiled and then faded out. The mirror had gone blank.

I didn’t even see myself anymore.

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