Part of me was embarrassed and wanted to run away and hide—the other demanded an explanation. I got up and went over to him, putting my hands on his chest. He immediately pushed them away and I didn’t know what to do. I folded my arms, trying to stop my trembling.
“Why did you stop?” I asked, my voice broken.
“This shouldn’t be happening.” I heard the rejection in his voice. “I don’t want to.”
He didn’t want me.
Had he not felt the same kind of bone-melting rapture that I had? This didn’t make any sense to me.
There was a coldness in his eyes that caused my stomach to drop. Had this been some kind of game to him? Had he wanted to see how far I would go? And when he had defeated me, had me agreeing to whatever he wanted, the thrill had gone?
How many more times could I make this same mistake? How could I keep debasing myself this way for someone who hated me and took pleasure in reminding me of that fact?
His rejection mortified me in a way that I hadn’t known was possible.
“You shouldn’t have snuck out,” he said, as if this were all my fault. As if I were to blame for the perverse wager he’d apparently made with himself. “You put us all at risk.”
My ears were ringing, my body stiffened. I knew he had kissed me to punish me. Was this part of it? A lesson so that I wouldn’t disobey him again?
“How are we in danger? Where are the legions of assassins waiting to kill us?” I demanded.
He stayed silent.
“I was right,” I fumed. “I would be happier if you were dead!” I hated him so much I was shaking with it.
“Then you’d be dead, too.”
“Death would be preferable to having to be your wife!” I stepped away from him, angry at both of us—him for being cruel, me for my weakness. “You think there are enemies all around you. You are paranoid, afraid of your own shadow. We are safe!”
His eyes went wide. He quickly threw his body in front of mine. There was a hissing sound, and I saw him jerk when he was hit. There was a sharp sting in my back and I put my hand over it as he crumpled to the ground. I didn’t feel anything on me.
But I did see a dart sticking out of his back. I slammed the doors shut.
“Poison,” he mumbled.
For the briefest of moments, I hesitated. I could forget everything, take Quynh, and go back to Locris. This could all just be some nightmare that I had survived.
This could all be over.
Chapter Forty-Six
But I would never do that.
“Guards! The prince has been attacked!” I yelled out as I took the dart from his back.
Four guards rushed in with Thrax, who had his sword drawn. He looked at us and pointed his weapon at me. “What did you do?”
“Get a healer! He’s been poisoned!”
He took another step toward me. “Move away from him!”
I didn’t have time for this. “Io! I need you!”
Kunguru called out, as if he’d heard me. He repeatedly cawed. Was he in Io’s room? As Thrax advanced on me, Io hurried into my bedroom. She shoved past the guards and her half brother. “What happened?” she asked.
“Poison. I don’t know what with.” I handed her the dart. She sniffed it and then licked it.
“Don’t touch Lia!” Io said to Thrax as she ran back out.