Page 142 of A Vow of Embers

Xander’s lips were turning a strange color, his face pale. Guilt settled hard into my chest, like a large, sinking stone. What if that split second of indecision cost him his life? I would never forgive myself.

My life wouldn’t be better if he were dead. I never should have said that to him—I hadn’t meant it.

Io quickly returned and knelt next to me. She poured something into her brother’s mouth. One vial, then two, and a third. She held her breath and waited.

Within a few seconds her brother’s lips returned to a normal color. “He’s going to be all right,” she said, her relief evident.

And now that she knew he was safe, she let herself cry. I held on to her as she sobbed over nearly losing him. Some secret part of me wanted to cry with relief, too. When Thrax came over, Io smacked at his sword. “Put that away! Lia didn’t have anything to do with this!”

He sheathed his weapon while he directed the guards to put Xander in our bed. Thrax interrogated me and I told him the barest of facts—that we had been standing near the open doors and that the prince had moved in front of me and taken the dart.

I didn’t tell him that this was probably my fault—that I had gone out into Troas and that we might have been followed.

“So you were the target,” he said.

Dread roiled in my stomach as I realized that I must have been. Xander was so much bigger and broader he would have been impossible to miss. If he had been the intended victim, he wouldn’t have needed to jump in front of me.

Thrax left with the guards to search the palace, but it seemed pointless to me. Whoever had done this was long gone.

Xander had warned me that going out into the city would cause this to happen. Was that true? Had I done this?

Io had gotten a damp rag and was washing Xander’s face. She moved down to his neck and stopped where I had bitten him. “What’s this?”

“Teeth marks,” I said, trying to disguise my embarrassment. “I did that.”

She didn’t seem surprised. “Your fighting woke me up, which is good because I heard you when you needed me.”

If she’d heard us arguing, had she also heard us after?

As if she could read my thoughts, she said, “Yes, I heard that, too. Which was very uncomfortable for me.”

I put my hands over my flaming cheeks. I was never going to get over this.

“Are you responsible for the scratches, too?” she asked.

“Yes. But it wasn’t from, um, fighting,” I mumbled, not able to meet her eyes. I had taken vows. I had promised. Even if I was coming to believe that the goddess had never intended for her followers to take those vows, the reality was that I had. I kept my word. I did the things I said I would do.

But when it came to this man ... all of that fled. The rest of the world faded away. He made it so that nothing mattered except him.

How could I keep that from happening? I wanted him out of my life, to be far away from him. Which wasn’t an option.

I couldn’t even tell her how I felt because I already knew her opinion. She had sent me to the palace so that her brother could keep me safe. And he had. More than once. If that dart had hit me first—I was smaller than him and it probably would have spread through me quicker. I might have died. And he’d done all that while despising me.

What would it be like to have a man like this love me?

I brushed that thought away. Instead I focused on the way Io dabbed at her brother’s brow. When I’d imagined finding the eye and restoring Locris, I had hoped that my adelphia would come with me. They had said they would go where I did, and I’d thought that we could all reopen the temple there.

But as I watched her, I was struck with the realization that she wouldn’t ever leave Ilion. This was her home. The people she loved were here.

It broke my heart a little.

Io put her rag down. “Before my brother made himself your human shield, I heard you two fighting about me.”

I nodded, as Io’s safety seemed to be the focal point of his rage.

“He’s angry for the same reason you are,” she continued. “You don’t want to see someone you care about get hurt, and neither does he.”

“No one wants that.”

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