Page 210 of A Vow of Embers

She nodded. “That is not the only thing the goddess does with living plants. I think there might be many things that I’m capable of.”

What would it feel like to have that kind of power? “How is this happening?”

“Because of you,” she said, as if I had asked a foolish question. “The savior has come to Ilion and reawakened the magic.”

But I didn’t have any of my own. I felt a bit envious that Io could do something so spectacular and I ...

Had red hair.

“Lia?” Parthenia called out.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” I said, remembering why I had come here. Initially I had meant to tell my sisters that I was leaving with Xander and that I would return in a couple of days.

But as I looked at them, I knew that was the wrong thing to do. “There was an attack in Lycia and the prince and I are going to investigate and I need all of you to come with me.”

They all went very still, as if shocked by my statement.

“What?” I asked.

“I think that’s the first time you’ve said that you need us,” Zalira said.

I did need them. I needed their support and their wisdom and their knowledge and I had to stop shutting them out. Stop trying to protect my heart by pushing them away because I was scared that someday we would be parted. I had to love them while I had the chance and not miss out because I was frightened of the future.

Stupid girl, you should do the same with Xander.

How could I do that? He was pushing me away.

But just because he wanted distance didn’t necessarily mean I had to agree.

A sentiment his sister seemed to share when she came over to me and said, “Admitting you need us is a good first step. Now you just have to tell the other important person in your life how much you need him.”

Chapter Sixty-Eight

Xander and his men were riding magnificent horses and I’d been irritated with myself when he insisted that my adelphia and I ride in a cart. It turned out the others had experience with riding horseback and I was the only one who didn’t. I should have spent time learning. I wanted to be a warrior riding into a possible battle but instead I was in a cart.

Like a turnip.

The only good thing about it was having the chance to be with my sisters and talk to them.

I tried to be better about sharing. I told them what had happened with Xander last night and this morning. I left out the specific details of who had done what to whom and instead talked about what he had said and how I had felt.

Io’s smile grew insufferably smugger as I talked. Her smile faltered when I told her about how he’d said earlier that all his pretty words had been false.

“But I don’t know what I think about that. I’m not sure he was telling me the truth this morning,” I confessed. “Why would he lie about it now?”

“His pride?” Zalira offered. “His ego?”

Io nodded. “He might be embarrassed that he said so much when you didn’t say those things back.”

That was a point I had not considered. While he had been saying so many amazing things to me, I hadn’t returned them.

Because I had been trying to protect myself.

Maybe that had felt like a rejection to him. He didn’t know how I felt about him, or about the things he did to me. How handsome I found him. The ways that I admired him.

I’d never told him how much I desired him.

But would it be safe to share that with him? Nothing had changed. I still had to abstain from pleasures of the flesh; I still had to keep myself from being buried alive.

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