Page 213 of A Vow of Embers

“It wasn’t one. Lie down.”

I crossed my arms and saw the anger in his eyes. I almost welcomed it. This seemed better than his cold indifference.

He let out a deep, annoyed sigh. “I can hear you thrashing around from my tent, and if I don’t hold you, we’ll never get to sleep. You’re driving me mad.”

Our tents were not close together. He couldn’t possibly have heard me.

Walk away,I told myself.Tell him no. Protect your heart.

Despite my resolution last night to ask him for separate rooms, to keep myself away from him, instead I did as he directed and lay down on the bedroll. My heart beat loud and steady like a drum when he followed me down. He put his right arm out for me to rest my head on and put his left around me.

I was desperate to be in his arms again and realized that I was willing to do just about anything to have that.

Even if he didn’t feel the same and was doing this out of necessity, it didn’t matter. I didn’t care. My pride was completely gone. Iconcentrated on holding still and trying to regulate my breathing so that I wouldn’t pant like a wounded animal. Image after image flashed through my head from last night. It would be easier to block them out if he weren’t currently a rigid, scorching wall behind me.

I wanted to turn around and confront him. To ask why he’d said what he did this morning. Why he was also holding back. To allow him the chance to explain himself.

But I was too much of a coward to do it. I let his soft, easy breathing lull me into a deep sleep.

The next morning I woke up practically on top of him, using him as my mattress. Which didn’t make sense because he was every bit as hard as the ground beneath us.

He was a great deal warmer, though, and the fire had gone out. I carefully disentangled myself from him, knowing that I was not nimble enough to do it without waking him up.

But if he was awake, he didn’t show it. I was grateful for the continued pretense because this was all so strange. I went to relieve myself and then woke up my sisters. I heard the men speaking to one another as they stirred awake. Over the next half hour, we ate a cold breakfast and then packed up to return to the road.

None of my sisters asked where I had been the previous night and I was glad they didn’t. I tried my best to ignore Io’s knowing smirk while she read.

A few hours passed and then I smelled smoke.

I craned my head out of the cart but couldn’t see anything. The air was hazy but there weren’t any plumes of smoke.

We came over a rise and Io whispered, “Lycia.”

The entire village had been burned. There were bodies everywhere.

And they lay on top of the same red dirt I’d seen twice before.

Chapter Sixty-Nine

“Stay with the group,” Xander barked as I ran forward with my sword out. Io had remained behind with the cart. She had told us to call out if we found anyone who needed healing and she would help as best she could.

“Is anyone there?” Thrax yelled to see if there were survivors. I couldn’t imagine that there would be. I looked at each body—some burned, others covered in blood—and realized that there were children among the dead. My stomach heaved.

What kind of monster would kill innocent children?

I was glad Io wasn’t seeing this.

“What is this red dirt?” Rokh asked while Dolion carefully turned in a circle, his bow notched with an arrow.

“I don’t know,” Xander responded angrily. “But I will find out.”

“Look at this one,” Thrax said, using his foot to tap on a body. “This is not a Lycian. You can tell from the armor.”

Someone had managed to throw a spear through this man’s chest and it had shoved his breastplate away from his body. Xander removed it completely, and the enemy’s tunic was caught on his armor, so it also pulled clear from his chest.

I noticed a reddish-brown tattoo of what appeared to be a hammer over his left pectoral and it reminded me of something, but I couldn’t remember what.

“Do you recognize that mark?” Dolion asked, and Xander shook his head grimly.