Page 60 of A Vow of Embers

“It’s a good thing we have to wait,” Rokh said. “We have time to win them over to our cause. To show them how happy you and Xander are.”

“Why does that matter? Don’t royals with unhappy marriages get chosen as king?”

“My father adored my mother, and the council thought that made him a more stable choice.” Alexandros’s words were clipped, precise. “I had an uncle in an arranged marriage with a Sasanian bride and they loathed one another. The council worried that if he were named king, their troubles as a couple would escalate and it might even bring about war.”

To someone else it might have seemed that he was opening up and sharing with me, but that wasn’t the case. He was only giving me the facts he thought necessary to gain my compliance to go along with his ruse. Reminding me why we had to make everyone believe that we were a good match.

“And to answer your earlier question,” he went on, “we are waiting for my stepmother’s monthly courses to make certain she’s not pregnant.”

I flushed, unsure of how to respond. That seemed highly personal and not the kind of thing discussed with a group of men I didn’t really know.

Unfortunately, the prince noticed my discomfort and latched on to it. “You can stab a man in the neck but speaking of women’s courses makes you blush?”

“You stabbed a man in the neck?” Dolion asked, and the other two members of the phratry also seemed very interested in my response.

“I’ve stabbed many men. But I only stab people who deserve it.” I turned my gaze to Alexandros, who wore a mocking smile.

“Then we should make certain we don’t do anything that makes you think we deserve it,” Rokh said in a teasing tone.

I wondered if the prince got that message.

“I was stabbed once,” Dolion announced. “Jealous husband.”

That led to the men comparing their various scars and telling the stories behind them. I focused on my food, only half listening. I wondered how much longer I would have to stay here and whether I would be able to take my meals in my room. I didn’t want to have to keep eating with Alexandros. He was ruining the experience for me, and food was one of my favorite things.

“What about that scar on your neck?” Stephanos asked, pointing at the prince.

I supposed he hadn’t told them everything about me.

“That looks recent,” Rokh added. “Why haven’t I noticed it before?”

“You should go to the healer and get a salve for it,” Dolion said.

“No, I plan on keeping it as a reminder.” The prince’s gaze was locked with mine.

“Of what?” Dolion asked.

Why was there a faint hope in my heart? Why did I want to matter enough to him that he kept that scar as a reminder of us and what we used to have?

“Of the price to be paid when you’re foolish enough to trust a duplicitous, scheming, lying woman.”

And why did I continue to be foolish enough to wish that some of what had happened had been real? Why couldn’t I accept the truth?

“Lying? You lied to me first!” I yelled as I jumped up. But just as quickly as the anger had flared up, it dissipated. He hadn’t told his phratry that he was talking about me. I was the one who had just confirmed it with my outburst.

He had already defeated me once today. I wasn’t going to give him another chance.

“I would like some fresh air,” I said with as much dignity as I could muster and headed for the porch outside the dining hall.

Leaning against one of the columns, I wondered if things would ever get better. If I would be forever caught in this useless cycle of anger and bitterness and blame. It had only been one day and I felt like I was going to fall apart.

“Princess Thalia?” I turned to see Dolion coming out to join me.

“Lia, please.”

“Lia, are you all right?”

I wanted to pour my heart out. I wanted someone to understand what it was like to be me and what I’d gone through.