Page 90 of A Vow of Embers

“It’s the men in this place. What are you doing to the women to trick them? To seduce them?”

He pulled me against him, hard. I didn’t resist. I welcomed his touch, melting into his body. His lips hovered just above mine, taunting, teasing. My blood burned through my veins, waiting for the moment when his mouth would descend to mine and set me ablaze.

“No one tricked you,” he murmured, his warm breath heating my sensitized lips. “And if I were seducing you, wife, you would know it.”

Then without warning he released me and went back into our room, leaving me alone on the balcony with my regrets and thwarted desire.

When I heard my sisters returning to their room next door, I went in and grabbed Io. “Can you give me something so I won’t dream?”

“If it’s the goddess’s will for you to dream, there’s nothing I can give you that will stop it,” she said sympathetically.

“It isn’t the goddess’s will. It’s your brother’s.”

“He’s not capable of creating dreams, Lia,” she said with a shake of her head as she sat down on her bed.

“Then he’s using a life mage.”

She kicked off her sandals and wiggled her toes. “Life mages can’t do that.”

The prince had said that to me as well. “How do you know?”

“I grew up around them. They can do small bits of magic, and it drains them completely. And if those dreams were to manipulate you, there’s no reason for them to continue. Xander got his way.”

It was the exact same thing I had thought after my last dream.

I also wondered why I hadn’t seen any life mages so far. Would I be pushing my luck if I asked her about it?

Deciding not to risk it, I realized that she wasn’t going to help me. I told her good night and then returned to my own room, climbing into the bed. I didn’t know where Alexandros had gone. Maybe he was out with one of those women who wanted him.

I didn’t want to think about that. Or about Quynh and Thrax. I hoped she had shoved him into some bushes and gone back to her own bed alone. I could forgive her momentary lapse in judgment because I’d suffered from the same affliction myself.

One moment I was imagining ways I would torture Thrax for touching my sister and the next I was lying in a small rowboat, rocking on waves.

Haemon and I were fishing. I was so shocked at seeing him that I couldn’t speak. He turned to look at me, and his warm brown eyes lit up. “What’s wrong with you, Lia? You’re staring at me like you haven’t seen me in years.”

“I haven’t,” I whispered.

He let out a laugh and I realized that I had forgotten what his laughter sounded like. It had been a daily part of my life and I had lost it. People didn’t tell you about that part of grief—how pieces of that person would slip away from you bit by bit until you had nothing left.

I was grateful to get this one thing back.

Storm clouds suddenly formed overhead, turning the day to night.

“We have to head for shore,” he said and began to row.

I remembered this day. I knew what happened next.

I was going to drown.

The waves turned massive, throwing our boat. I screamed Haemon’s name but I was bucked out of the rowboat and went into the dark, churning water.

And I sank. Down, down, down. I knew how to swim but the ocean was too strong and I was too little. I lashed out in frenzied desperation, not knowing which way was up, rolling and turning over. My chest felt like it was about to burst. I had to breathe or I was going to die.

Fear overwhelmed me and I kept kicking even as I slipped deeper into the abyss.

A strange peace settled over me, and it felt like falling asleep as I sank.

Then a hand encircled my wrist, tugging me upward.

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