Page 127 of Soulgazer

“No.” His grip tightens when I try to pull back. “No.When we lie together—and we will do that, Saoirse—it’s not going to be on my cousin’s orders. And it sure as feck isn’t going to be when you’re in a state like this.”

Fury claws up my throat and I thrash against him. “I’m fine!”

“Are you?” He releases one wrist only to sweep a finger below my eye. It comes away wet, and when I blink I feel tiny drops sliding down. When did I begin to cry?

Or have I never stopped?

My head lolls as I try to shake it, spreading forget-me-nots like rain, but instead of letting me go or pushing me back on the bed, Faolan just wraps me tight against his chest and shakes his head. “You’re hurting, love. But you’re not fecking alone anymore.”

The words break my resolve.

I release everything I have in an ugly, broken wail and collapse against his chest.

Forty-Eight

A full night’s sleep wrapped in Faolan’s arms is like a rebirth, soothing all those jagged edges of my soul. I wake to his fingers trickling down my back in a gentler version of the rains that beat the window all night. His skin is rough, warming me to my bones, where it lingers. Hair a mess of curls I’ve rarely had the privilege to see considering the fact that he’s too restless by half to stay in bed for long when daylight comes.

“Morning,” he whispers.

I blink when his lips meet my forehead. Fingertips turning to a hand that presses flat at the small of my back.

“You stayed.”

“I told you I wouldn’t leave. Not when you were like tha’.” Faolan’s voice is rough with the morning, a growl caught in his chest. Something aches inside at knowing I’ve missed out on it for a week. His fingers trace my jaw, coaxing me to meet his gaze.

He doesn’t ask me if I’m all right—the answer must be obvious—but I’m a little more whole than I was when I went to sleep. That has to be enough.

I push onto my elbows, then still and roll slowly onto my side,tugging the torn halves of my dress back together as heat burns into my face. “Last night—”

Faolan drags the quilt up to my collarbone and touches my jaw once. “Never mind it. Just tell me what happened, aye?”

My stomach flips, but I clutch the blanket to my chest. Fold my free arm beneath my head and tell him everything. What it was like growing up with my father at Aidan’s and Conal’s sides. How it felt to lose them both at once. How I’d thought the Damhsa might be a fresh start, until the magic took me over though I’d fought long to be free.

And for a time, Faolan doesn’t say a word. He plucks spare forget-me-nots from my tangled hair as he listens and arranges them in a constellation across the pillow. My words falter as I stare at the design, thinking of Brona’s story about the moon held between Muireal’s palms in the sky.

“I splintered my father’s mind without even meaning to.” Finally, Faolan meets my gaze, and the tightness in my chest eases just a bit. “Maybe he was right, and I shouldn’t have removed the tattoo. Maybe I am dangerous.”

“Well, I could’ve told you that.”

I hit his chest. “Be serious.”

He catches my hand. “I am. Trouble, never in my life have I met somethingorsomeone who was well and truly harmless. Even kittens are born with claws. And might I remind you that within a day of meeting, you—the mighty, wee Saoirse—wrangled me into a handfasting.”

I push onto my elbow, spreading my fingers against his bare chest until they find the steady pulse. “You needed me. It’s not like you could’ve said no.”

“I beg your pardon.” Faolan sits up, and for a moment we areback to the beginning. His teasing smile and my frozen wonder, separated by a torn dress and a bedsheet. But then he tweaks one of my curls gently around his finger and sits back against the frame. “Remember, I had a damned good plan to kidnap you without all the vowing and forced celibacy. Just ask Tavin. Our resident seanchaí should have woven it into a proper song by now.”

A true laugh bubbles out of me, and though guilt bites it off at the end, it helps. “Fine. I’m dangerous. But I think if I can only—if I can understand the magic…” I shake my head. “Maybe I can stop being so controlled by its whims.”

Maybe, if I could find a way to harness it, I could protect those I love from its power.

“Worth exploring.” Faolan spreads his fingers over my hip. Before I can register the touch, he’s pulled the bone shards from my pocket, rolling the cracked pieces across his palm. He casts me a look, one brow gently raised.

I bite my lip and slowly extend a hand.

—

It’s nearly dusk by the time I take a break, dropping my aching head against the ship railing. Hours I’ve been at it and gotten nowhere. Faolan and Kiara are arguing again, their voices carrying down from the helm, the usual threads of resigned affection gone from their voices. I curl tighter against the pile of ropes that’s more or less become my nest.

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