Page 103 of Where You're Planted

It hit him that he didn’t know her name. And then it hit him that Tansy would have asked first thing. Naming things was important to her. To Briar, too. “She got a name yet?”

“Jillian,” Omar said proudly, shuffling in close as if it physically pained him to have his baby out of his arms.

“And I know you’re going to hate this, but I swear it wasn’t on purpose, so you can’t be mad,” Amy said with a smile, “but you guys will be Jack and Jill.”

Jack laughed. “I’m not mad.”

“Good, because I already made matching shirts.”

“But it wasn’t on purpose,” he deadpanned.

“Legit coincidence. I’m not gonna waste good material, though.”

“Jack and Jill,” he mused. “Fine.” He turned to put Omar out of his misery and give him back his baby.

“Hold on. One more thing,” Amy said, stopping him. “We have something to ask you.”

“You’re Amy’s closest family,” Omar said. “And you’ve been like a brother to me. We know this is a lot to ask. It’s okay if you’re not there…”

“Just spit it out,” Jack said.

Amy set her hand on his knee. “We’d like you to be her godfather.”

Godfather.

Jack swallowed convulsively. The sting behind his eyes was back. He looked down at the baby in his arms, her eyesnow closed peacefully, her lips twitching in a suck reflex. He’d wanted this at one time. In an entirely different life.

Except, it wasn’t an entirely different life. Because in the past few months, spending time with Tansy, with Briar, some invisible force had pulled him back toward this. Not a baby, like he’d once hoped.

But to be…maybe not a father. But something.Someone.

Yet even when he’d started to feel it, that glowing thread winding around his heart, connecting him to Tansy and to Briar, he’d struggled to quiet the memory of losing it all the first time—his marriage and the plans they’d never been able to make real. Maybe if he didn’t allow himself to want it again, he could avoid the loss of it, too.

“You sure?” he whispered.

He risked a glance at Amy, who nodded, blinking tears from her own eyes, seeing him wrestle with the last of that sticky, tangled mess he’d been mired in for so long. “Jack,” she said, her voice breaking, “You’re our family, forever. That’s why we want you to be her godfather. But I also think itcanhappen for you. I think it already is happening.”

Jack lifted the sleeping baby, tucking his nose into the soft, hospital blanket swaddling her. He breathed in the scent of fresh linen and baby, the sweetest smell he’d ever known, and let the fabric absorb his tears. “Yes,” he said, his voice so hoarse nearly no sound came out. He tried again. “Yeah, Ames. I’d be honored.”

—

Jack couldn’t wait to tellTansy later, but shortly after eight, when she must have realized he wasn’t at work, she texted.

Tansy:Where are you?

Tansy:Are you okay?

And a few minutes later:

Tansy:Which hospital is Amy at? How is she?

He assumed she’d gotten the broad strokes from Ian, to whom he’d given a heads-up that he would come in after lunch.

Before he could respond, though, a nurse came to check on Amy and the baby, and he tucked away his phone to be sure the guy was good at his job.

After that, Amy’s endorphins and painkillers seemed to be wearing off. He ended up holding Jillian again, shuffling and bouncing to lull her back to sleep while the new parents dozed, Amy in the hospital bed and Omar on a very small, very hard couch.

They managed about a half hour of rest before a lactation consultant interrupted. Jack passed Jillian back to Omar, and Amy began to unsnap her top, saying, “I’m having this nipple pain,” which was Jack’s cue to leave if he’d ever heard one.

---