Page 61 of Weaponized

“Get thislying whoreout of my house!” I point over his shoulder at her. My whole body is shaking with rage. “Goddamn it! Fuck!” I grab a lamp and throw it across the room. A framed poster comes off the wall. When I’m done destroying the room minutes later, Gráinne is gone and only Matteo, Gianni, and Anthony remain.

“You done?” Matteo asks.

I say nothing. My adrenaline is crashing and I feel numb. I’m as wrecked as the room around me. I sink down into the middle of the floor, sit on top of the rubble I created. I’m still shaking.

“I need you guys to go now,” I hear Matt say. “I’ve got this.” There are other murmurs but I can’t make them out. I don’t want to. Then, finally silence, until Matteo speaks some time later.

“You know none of this makes any sense, right?”

I sob.

“Oh, shit. Fuck. I’m sorry, Luke.” His voice drips with sympathy. “We’ll figure it out. Everything will be okay.”

“Everything is not oh-fucking-kay,” I mutter. “I’m so goddamn stupid. Jesus. I thought she—I thought we—” I can’t get the words out. I choke up.

“What happened? Anthony said she was cheating on you, but I don’t think—”

“I can’t. Just don’t, Matt. Not right now. Not today.” My voice is breaking and I hate it. I hate that I believed her.I hate that I’m such a fucking moron. I fell for every lie. I hate that the pain is excruciating.

“Okay, brother, not today,” he acquiesces. “You want to go to your room? The gym?”

“I want to get drunk,” I tell him.

“Drunk it is,” he agrees.

I don’t remember the rest of the night.

Gráinne

He has the file. The file I knew I should have burned but didn’t bother to, because it didn’t matter to me anymore. When I first moved in, Iknewone of our enemies might search my place. I knew it. That’s how this world works. I was trained better. My father literally told me as much on his way out my door. Still, I got lazy. I fell in love. I imagined a different world. A world without my father. One where I could make my own choices. Be someone different. I was an idiot.

He thinks I did all sorts of horrible things. He thinks I betrayed him.

But didn’t you?A voice in my head nags.You didn’t tell him everything. You kept it to yourself for months.

God. He has the file. He hates me. Couldn’t stand to look at me.

Get this lying whore out of my house!

I’ve seen Luca angry before, but never like this. He looked at me with such disgust. I sink to my knees in my bathroom and lose my lunch. I ran all the way home. Matteo pushed me behind him when he saw Luca’s face, and when the glass began to fly, he directed me to leave. Anthony had looked at me with pity while Gianni smirked.Gianni. It was probably him who searched my apartment. Does it even matter anymore?

Get this lying whore out of my house!

I start crying. I can’t stop. The tears just keep coming. Big, ugly, body-wracking tears. God, before I came to St. A’s, I never cried. Now, it seems I have an endless supply of tears.

Lying whore.

He’s right. Thatiswho I am. Who I was raised to be. I seduce men—have fucked men—to take what my father wants. It took Luca almost three months to figure me out. But he did. I never deserved him. I was so, so stupid to think our story could have a different ending.

He doesn’t even know the half of it. He believes a bunch of bullshit about Theo Nicopolis and me feeding my father information. None of that’s remotely true. But he doesn’t know it was my father who tortured him. Who broke his brother. Who is coming for him again. I know all of this and I’ve kept it to myself.

Lying whore.

I could have told him about the file. I already told his brother about its contents. I also could have told him I knew who hurt him all those years ago. I could have trusted him with the information about why I was sent to St. A’s in the first place. But, no. I didn’t want to risk him going after my father and getting hurt. If I’m honest, I was scared that it would change how Luca saw me. Still, doesn’t he deserve to know?

God. I know better than all of this. I never second-guess my father or give another thought to how hard the job he gives me will be. I know my role. I messed it all up. I forgot who I am.

When my tears finally dry up, I see that I’ve missed a few texts.Nothing from Luca. Of course there isn’t. Why would there be?

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