Page 16 of The Spring in My Heart

I don’t snort like I want to. “Consider your apology stamped, delivered, and in the past. I have a late train to catch.”

My mother doesn’t relinquish the grip. “But we were going to spend time together.”

“It will have to be another time.”

Mateo moves to block my exit.

“Look,” he says, his olive skin flustered, his eyes liquid. “I know I messed up too many times. I squandered the biggest blessing of my life. I don’t know what it is. We have everything I need, but I get so scared at times.”

“You’re a grown man, Mateo. This is a bullshit excuse,” I grit out.

He looks down at his feet. “I know, and I’m sorry. Please let’s talk. I don’t want that day to be the last memory you have of me. In the name of everything, we lived together. Please, Luxxy. It’s just a conversation. I know you’re over me, but I love you, and I need this closure. I can’t move on without it.”

I look at the door and back at him. I see the guy who always held me when I needed it most. I cried all night when my father got arrested and went to jail. The same person who dropped everything to come with me looking for Chase when he was on a destructive binge.

He’s been a staple of so many moments when I needed someone. And he was there every time. He was all I had at times, because my brothers were as messed up as I was. Cam would close himself off to the world. Chase went running after thrills. I let myself get used by him so I could feel wanted. Mateo gave me that feeling. It’s true he hurt me, but he’s also been there for me. And he taught me what men are like. That’s why I need to be done once and for all. I can’t settle for what they have to offer anymore.

“Okay, let’s talk. We’ll have closure.”

The smile splits his face. “Okay, go ahead and have tea with your mom. I’ll pick you up tonight, and we’ll go to dinner.”

“Why? We’re here. Let’s get it over with.”

He looks from Marilyn to me. “Your mom is here. It should be just us.”

A group of older women, East Side Stepford wife types, approach us. “I’m sorry to interrupt you, but can we have a photo with you, Mateo?”

“Of course, ladies.” His arms sweep out, spreading like an eagle, so they can move in on either side of him.

I’m left standing there with my mother, who wastes no time to advocate for him.

“He’s right, Luciana. We can catch up, and then the two of you can go out.” She turns to Mateo. “Pick her up from my house.”

Oh no. I have to put my foot down. “No. I’ll be at Cam’s. I have clothes there.”

He leans in and kisses my cheek. “See you tonight.”

Mateo disappears through the door, and we sit at the table. My stomach knots. Not only do I have to deal with Marilyn now, but I have to deal with him later.

“You did the right thing.” Marilyn smiles. “So glad the two of you are back together.”

What the fuck.

“We are not back together, and we are not getting back together. It’s a conversation, and we’re done for good.”

Her smile only brightens. “Of course.”

I curse myself again for lingering at the spa.

4

Lux

It’s not good.

No. Screw that. It’s a colossal mistake. I shouldn’t have listened to Marilyn. I cannot trust her decisions, because everything to her is about control, money, and status. Her pleas to talk, accompanied by Mateo’s begging for a chance to just talk and his acceptance that it’s over, did me in. Like always. I know I shouldn’t be doing this and will regret it.

Yet, here I am, rummaging through my closet at Cam’s brownstone. It doesn’t bode well for me. After spending time with my mother, I’m never in a good mood, but I need to get out of here, or I’ll fall into a funk. My eyes well, and if I don’t get a move on, I’ll cry. So, I grab the black high-necked shift lace dress and throw it on the bed.

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