Page 8 of The Spring in My Heart

Face beat to the gods. Body tighter than 1A1 drum. Can’t keep Mateo from straying no matter how much yoga she does. It’s just sad.

Maybe she should try #therapy instead of yoga because she always takes him back. #PoorLuxxy you’re better than that.

The heat flashes up my body, turning my face into a boiling kettle. I fling my phone onto my couch, shove my eyes closed, and let the waves of hot shame wash over me. I don’t breathe deep or count my breaths. I learned long ago not to fight it and just let the feeling do what it will. If I resist, I’ll end up with a panic attack.

I’m not letting Mateo give me any more of those. I’m also not going to cry until my face swells. Nope. I stand still and repeat one of my mantras—This is temporary, and I will prevail. It is what the fuck it is—until my body cools again.

“Lux.”

My heart stumbles down my chest, and my eyes fly open. Lauren is standing at the top of my stairs. Her black hair, shaped into perfect waves, tumbles down her shoulder and on to the Atelier blazer she let me borrow two months ago. Her naturally glowing skin is set in a pinched expression, a contrast to the chic outfit that screams bad bitch on a mission. Except, she’s wearing flats, which means she ran out of her house in a hurry.

“How did you get in here?” I practically growl at her.

Her frown deepens. “I knocked. Chase gave me the spare key. When you didn’t answer the phone, we got worried. I asked him to let me be the one to come by. As you can imagine, he’s… I didn’t want him to run into Mateo.”

“Yeah, that’s for the best. It’s not worth a reaction,” I say with as much carelessness as I can muster.

Lauren’s shoulders dip. “He deserves it for what he’s putting you through. Again.”

I shrug in a not-a-big-deal kind of way and clear my throat. “I’m fine. It’s not the first time he cheated on me.”

Her hand shoots out.

I take an instinctive step back. “No, don’t touch me.”

She nods and stays where she is. “Your brothers are losing it. Cam is holding Chase back from going to look for Mateo.”

“There’s no point. That will do nothing but land Chase in jail.”

“Wha—”

Fast footsteps up the stairs stop her mid-word.

A second later, Mateo’s imposing 6’2” frame lands on the top step. His muscular frame towers over Lauren and me. His beautiful amber skin is flushed like he ran here from the stadium. He’s wearing his brown-and-yellow baseball uniform, cleats, and regret all over his face. His eyes land on me, and he reaches out. “Luxxy, I left practice to come and explain. Nothing really happened with that girl. She was there when I was partying. You know I came home to you last night.”

And jumped in the shower before getting into bed and didn’t want to have sex.

The memory sinks my stomach even lower. At this point, it’s going to drag me to hell. I take a step back and practically spit venom, “Get the fuck out of my house.”

“You don’t mean that, baby.”

The word sends another surge of heat up my body. I turn around, grab the first thing I find, and fling it at him.

He ducks, and the mug shatters against the wall. He looks back at it. “Are you fucking crazy? You could’ve hurt me with that.”

“Then get the fuck out, like she asked.” Lauren yells, pointing toward the stairs.

“Mind your business.”

“Or what?” she asks. “And before you answer, let me tell you something. I’m the only thing that stands between you and a career-ending beating from Chase.”

He looks away from her and back to me. “Come on, Luxxy, let me explain. Just us. This is just between us. We love each other and have been through so much together. We understand each other.”

“I understand you can’t keep your dick in your pants. Fuck off. I want nothing to do with you.”

“Luxxy—”

“Get out.” I scream.

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