Page 98 of The Spring in My Heart

In a way, it was a blessing to be distracted by this woman and her problems. But she’s made me think about mine. I have a pissed off…girlfriend?...at home—if she still wants to have anything to do with me. I couldn’t tell my fellow passenger why another woman would never love my A like I do. Because her question hit too close to home…and because I never trusted anyone around Ayla, other than Adri, Lauren, and Winter, who pose no threat.

I never wanted my baby to experience any rejection or slight. I couldn’t bear it if someone did to her what my father’s wife or their kids did to me that one time we met.

I never gave anyone the chance.

I’m not even giving Lux the chance. She’s there for me. I finally feel like I have someone I can talk to. And she’s always loving and kind to my girl.

I love her, but I’m not giving her a chance, not giving us a chance.

My chest rattles as the words sink into my head. I love Lux.

No, I can’t. It’s too fast, isn’t it? When could it have happened? We’ve only been together a few months.

But it’s enough to have me waking up happier than I’ve ever been. She’s filled that emptiness. She’s become a partner, and she didn’t run when I freaked out. Yeah, she was cautious, but she voiced her opinion, and we worked it out.

Jesus, I love her…and you’re about to lose her.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning our descent into Los Angeles International Airport. Please turn off all portable electronic devices and stow them until we have arrived at the gate…”

The flight attendant’s voice fades out to Connor’s screams. I bounce him, buying his mother a few more minutes.

Fifteen minutes later, we’re on the ground. I check my phone. I have one message. It’s a selfie of Ayla with a sad face and bunny ears.

Ayla

I miss you already.

It’s the only text I’ve needed before, but I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out on another text, one I would’ve had if I had kept my mouth shut. The one I didn’t know, hours ago, would matter so much after this flight.

I need to fix this. No, I’m going to fix it.

21

Lux

I planned to spend the day in bed, nursing my feelings with Netflix, a big cupcake from Market Fresh, and pitcher of pineapple-pomegranate mimosas. It’s the proper segue after spending one hour mad at myself and two hours sleeping. But I can’t waste a whole day on my feelings. At eleven, I dust myself off, get out of bed, and sit in front of my laptop. Thank God, once I know all I need to say, my job is pretty easy for me. All my research was done; I just needed to put it into words. I finished my blog entry in thirty minutes and am feeling so proud of myself that I’m ready to go back to my bed.

My phone buzzes with Lauren’s name. It’s a text: Come to Autumn Lush. Let’s have lunch together and chill while I work.

It’s tempting. I can lose myself in her work, play dress up with real dolls, and Autumn Lush is one of my favorite places. I should’ve asked her to go there to write my post, but I’m not in the mood. I am not fit to be seen or to be in anyone’s company.

Me

I’m a little tired and don’t want to leave my bed.

The three little dots appear on my screen, and her reply comes right after.

Lauren

I need you…I’m working on an official collection…

Me

Huh

And then it hits me.

Me

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