Page 37 of A Not So Merry Ex-Mas

I look over my shoulder to find Noelle watching me, not the star. I feel my breath hitch as she lifts her eyes and smiles. “Now.”

I step back from the tree and move next to Noelle. I am inches from her. I am so aware of her body next to me that I am struggling to breathe normally. I feel her hand on my forearm, and I suck in a breath. I try to stay as still as possible, afraid that if I move, she’ll realize she’s touching me.

“I think we need some hot chocolate to celebrate.” Her wide smile and sparkling hazel eyes steal mybreath. All I can do is nod. “You sit down, and I’ll get everything.”

I chew on my bottom lip as I watch her walk into the kitchen, hummingLet it Snow. When she’s out of sight, I collapse on the couch and run my hands up and down my face.

I blow out a huge breath before slowly inhaling. I amnotgood at going slow.

“How does a one-legged man in a butt-kicking competition do it?” I mumble.

“Did you say something?” Noelle’s face pops through the kitchen doorway, wearing a smile that obliterates the darkness directed at me.

“Just talking to myself,” I say, letting my eyes roam her face.

“How many marshmallows do you want?” She turns back into the kitchen before yelling out. “Don’t answer. I’ll just bring the bag to you, and you can decide.”

“Sounds good.” I flop back on the couch and smack my hand over my face.

My thoughts are all over the place as I try to figure out how to get us back to where we were before the power went out, but I know I can’t force it.

Follow her lead.

Mel’s wordsrun through my head, and I groan.

“You haven’t been wrong yet, Mel.” I run my hand through my hair and take a deep breath.

This could be a long night.

For the last hour,Noelle has been telling me stories about her volunteer work. She’s a beauty specialist who volunteered at an assisted living home after her Gran died.

She went once a week to give haircuts, shaves, and sometimes even styles. I am beguiled by how her face lights up as she tells me the stories from her visits.

I will never look at an older person the same again, but I also pray that when I am their age, I am just as…um…lively.

“Wait,” I hold my hand up to stop her while I try to grasp what she’s telling me. “Are you saying that Stan was seeingbothGladys and Betty?”

“Yes!” Her laughter runs through me, causing the hair at the nape of my neck to stand up. “They got into a huge fight in front of us as I was giving Stan a shave.”

She sips her drink, and my gaze follows her every movement. When she looks back at me, her eyes twinkle and I can’t stop the laugh coming up my body.

“That little rascal watched with a smile on his face the entire time!” She shakes her head and chuckles. She turns to the fire, and her gaze grows distant. “Working there really helped me after Gran died.”

I take a deep breath and think about how she had to go through all of that alone. My heart aches at how much I wanted to be there for her. How hurt I was that she wouldn’t let me.

I knew that Noelle wasn’t good at asking for help; she didn’t like to be a burden on anyone. When we were together at school, I didn’t give her a chance to push me away. But I couldn’t do that while she was twenty-three hundred miles away and not taking my phone calls.

She looks back at me with a shine in her eyes and a soft, relaxed smile. I am dying to touch her face. As if having a mind of its own, I feel my hand lift. I stop it and then let out a breath.

Noelle knits her brows together and frowns. “Is everything okay?”

I bite my lip and look away, trying to quell the internal struggle between my mind and heart.

“Cole?” She rests her hand on my arm, and I look at it before deciding.

I put my hand over hers and slowly exhale.

“I hate that you had to go through everything alone when Gran got sick,” I whisper. I feel her start dragging her hand away but I hold on to it and gently squeeze.

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