Page 26 of Changing Rules

A year and one month ago

July

I sit in my car,my gaze fixed on the floor-to-ceiling windows of the gym, my mind elsewhere. My fingers are wrapped tightly around my cell. It’s been two days since I saw Stacey for the first time in four years, and since then, one thought has plagued me.

Ineedto see her.

I want to make sure she’s really alright.

Because the girl I saw at the hospital four years ago is not the woman I met at the restaurant the other night. The changes are indescribable.

I was sure she’d never be the same after all the trauma, but two days ago, I witnessed it. A happy and joyful version of her. She reminded me of the Stacey I fell for all those years ago.

Is she really okay?

Closing my eyes, I inhale and exhale deeply. I’ve never been shy or uncertain, yet here I am, second-guessing myself. Why am I so indecisive? I’ve been struggling with the part I played in Stacey’s attempted suicide for years. For a long time, the guilt strangled me. I’ve gone through therapy; I’ve had countlessnightmares about the night I found her in the bathroom. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make sure she’s doing well.

Right?

Fuck it.

I open my eyes, unlock my phone, and pull up the number I found for Stacey on her company’s website. Within seconds, I’ve typed up a simple text.

I want to get to know her. The last time we spoke, she was a fragile, broken girl. Now, she’s strong, confident, and just as kind as ever. I want to talk to her, to ask her how she’s been. Is that bad?

Of course not. It’s not a big deal.

Decision made, I hit send.

Me:

Hey Stacey. It’s Alex. Just wanted to say it was nice to see you the other day

Before I’ve even locked my phone, I get a response.

Stacey:

Alex who?

Me:

Alexander Walker

Stacey:

Oh hey! I didn’t expect to hear from you

Me:

Sorry if this makes you uncomfortable

Stacey:

No lol not at all. How are you?

Me:

Fine. What about you?

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