Page 36 of Changing Rules

“Okay.” It takes effort, but I’m sure my shrug comes off as indifferent. “Anything else?”

“No. Thank you for your time.” He slips his hands into his pockets, adding weight to my theory that he’s a pervert.

“Bye. Hope this was the last time we see each other.”

I close the door and drive away from the house, hands tight around the steering wheel.

Just this morning, I was certain Xander would never hurt me. Looks like I was wrong.

Kat has been doingmy hair for a couple of years now. I can be myself with her, and her skills never disappoint. Today, though, I’m not feeling like myself. But I put on a smile as I step inside, determined to pretend I’m okay.

I’m bleeding inside, but I don’t want anyone to know.

“Izzy!” Kat greets me. Her red curls frame her round face, making her chocolate brown eyes stand out. “So happy to see you.”

“Hey.” I give her a quick hug. “You too.”

“How are you?” she asks as she guides me to her chair.

“I’m fine,” I murmur, still smiling. “What about you? How’s your baby girl?”

“Same old, same old.” She laughs. “Avery is the sweetest little thing. She adores the dress you bought her. Again, thank you so much, Izzy.”

“I’m glad she likes it.”

The last time I was here, I brought a new dress for Kat’s daughter. Avery is autistic, and Kat has spent the last couple of years finding the best therapists and programs while applying for every scholarship and grant she can find. She works so hard to provide for her little girl.

“Me too. Her smile is the best reward, the best medicine.” Kat threads her fingers through my hair. “Being a mom is the hardest job in the world, but also the most heartwarming.”

“I guess so.”

Kat narrows her eyes at me, like maybe she can see beneath my mask, but then she quickly focuses on my hair. “So, what do you want to do? A cut? Maybe freshen up your color?”

“Just a cut.” As I assess my reflection, a thought zips through my head. “Though…what do you think about going blonde?”

“Blonde?” She frowns. “You want to dye your hair blonde?”

“I don’t know.” I lower my gaze to my lap. “Maybe?”

Disappointment in myself rushes through my veins, headed straight for my heart. I’ve never felt like this before, ever. I’ve always been happy with my appearance. But Xander has a type, and knowing I don’t fit into it has been eating at me. Now, knowing he’s been secretly hanging out with Stacey, I can’t help but feel insecure and jealous.

If he was meeting with her for innocent reasons, he wouldn’t need to hide it from me, right? I’m not the possessive type. I’d never forbid him from seeing her. I wouldn’t even balk. It’s his life, and I won’t stand in the way of his desires. All I want is honesty.

Kat hums. “Sometimes, a change is exactly what we need for a fresh start.” She leans over my shoulder, catching my gaze in the mirror. “I have an idea. Before we do anything that can’t be undone, let’s try it. Then you can decide how you feel. Okay?”

I nod, clasping my hands. I feel like shit, and I’m not even at my Mother’s house. God, if I can’t fix my attitude, tomorrow will be a nightmare.

Kat dashes off, and a moment later she returns holding a blond wig. With a reassuring smile, she sets it down, pulls up my hair, and slips the wig into place. She presses her lips together as she surveys my reflection, adjusting the wig, making sure the part is centered, brushing a section over my shoulder.

I look…strange. My skin is paler, and my eyebrows are weirdly dark, drawing too much attention to them. I force myself to take in every detail.

“Izzy, I don’t know if this is something to do on impulse.” Kat spins me around so I’m facing her. “Don’t do it if you aren’t sure. I get it; hair grows back. We can always dye it again. But please don’t make this decision in the spur of the moment. I see the uncertainty in your eyes. I can tell you aren’t ready, and I’d hate for you to regret it. And honestly?” She puts her hands on her hips. “I’m pretty sure you will.”

A sob involuntarily bursts out of me. “The girl in the mirror? That’s not me. I don’t know who it is, but it’s not Bella.”

I hide my face in my hands, unable to stop the tears, though I do my best to not make any sound.

“It’s okay, baby.” Kat gently takes off the wig and sets it down. Then she runs a hand up and down my back. “It’s okay.”

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