Page 56 of Changing Rules

“Gifts, tender touches, caresses. Suddenly, the attention felt good, and I had such a desperate need for love that I took his twisted fixation as a sign of affection, a sign of love.”

A sob escapes her, then another, her body shaking. I hold her tighter, closing my eyes and trying to chase away the images in my brain.

“I had an affair with my stepfather, and I wanted my mother to find out. I wanted to hurt her the way she hurt me. I wanted to prove I was better than her because her man wantedme.”

For several long seconds, all I do is hold her, processing her words. My heart thunders against my sternum with such force, I’m sure she can feel it.

Finally, I wet my parched lips. “How long?”

“Almost four months,” she whispers. “Once I left for college, once I had some distance from him, I finally understood what it was. He took advantage of me, of my mental state, of my hopeless desire to be loved, to be wanted. So, I convinced myself he’d raped me all this time, and I replaced every good memory I had with memories of nights when I was scared, afraid he’d choke me to death.” Her breath hitches. “Yet I’ve never been able to replace some things. Like my love for rough and kinky sex. I crave it now, and he’s the one who introduced me to it. It gives me power, control.”

I run a hand over her back, wanting nothing more than to take her pain away.

She cries, her tears wetting my chest. “Kevin heard me talking to Meg while I was visiting once. We were discussing the guys we slept with in college. Later, he cornered me in the bathroom and tried to kiss me. He got a punch to the groin instead. That’s when he realized I’d never be his again, that those days were over. And he said…he said I should be grateful.” She swallows thickly and sniffles. “‘You’re so popular with boys, Isabella,’ he said. ‘Have you ever wondered why? No? I’ll tell you. It’s because of me. I taught you how to satisfy a real man.’

“That night, I threw up until my throat was on fire, but I was also relieved. I knew it was over. He no longer held any power over me. I know how to defend myself when it comes to him, how to make him go away, but he still doesn’t like to keep his distance. Seeing him brings all the memories, all the regrets, to the surface. So it’s easier to avoid him.”

A heavy silence fills the room. It’s so sticky, I can almost feel it on my skin.

Bella wiggles out of my embrace and peers up at me, placing her palm on my cheek.

I clear my throat. It feels as if it’s coated with sand. So fucking dry. “The moment I saw how he looked at you, I knew. I knew he was in love with you, and it was so fucking hard not to pounce on him right then. I wanted to kill him.”

“I’m so, so sorry.”

“Don’t.” I press my finger to her lips. “It’s not your fault.” I hug her tight against my chest.

My mind races as I hold her. The sheer amount of information is overwhelming, the intricacies hard to understand. Or maybe I don’t want to admit that, for some small amount of time, that jerk had my girl.Fuck.

When I took Milo for a walk earlier, I couldn’t stop replaying the night. Her grandmother’s revelation about how lonely and broken Bella was as a child. Her mother’s refusal to admit any wrongdoing. That jackass cornering her, and the realization that there was actual love attached to his disgusting obsession.

And the words her mother said to her? Fuck. The revulsion in her voice when she told Bella she hated her. Her own daughter, who never received any kindness or care her entire life.

I hate her mother.

And I hate Kevin just as much. He’s a fucking manipulator. He used his wife’s hatred toward her own daughter to isolate Bella. He earned her trust then made her dependent on him. He nurtured the submissive nature she’s been trying to break free from. He’s the real reason she was a pushover, not just her mother. This man groomed her for years. But why? Did he actually intend to make her his eventually? Would he have ever found the balls to try? I can only imagine what went on in Kevin’s mind when he realized his stepdaughter had a boyfriend. I bet he was furious, the sick fuck.

He didn’t even try to hide how he felt about her tonight. It just…stung. The revelation was brutal, though I can’t explain why.

Because she lied to me?

Technically, she didn’t lie—hedidrape her, and more than once.

Because she didn’t trust me enough to tell me the whole truth?

She told mehertruth, the one she wanted to believe.

The victim falling for her abuser. Even though I understand all that, I’m still torn.

A storm is coming, brewing inside my chest, its force compounding with every breath. I don’t want to just have sex with her. I want to fuck her so hard she’ll forget any other man.I want her to scream my name while she comes. I want to work her over so thoroughly her body and mind turn to Jell-O.

I want to own her. Forever.

“Xander.” Her voice draws me out of my thoughts. She arches back and rubs her eyes. “Are you okay?”

My gut clenches. “No.”

She cups my face, her expression full of fear and pain. “What can I do to make you feel better? What do you want?”

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