Page 78 of Changing Rules

I am the fucking villain in my girl’s story…while I desperately hoped to be her savior.

What started as a desire to make sure Stacey was alright quickly turned into a strange obsession with her well-being. Somehow, I felt like I had to be available to her twenty-four seven. She was bored? I’d chat with her. She wanted opinions about an outfit? I was happy to help her decide. I thought I was processing the guilt I still felt after her suicide attempt. I guess I thought being available to her would absolve me of my sins. Instead, I hurt yet another person, the person who means everything to me.

Bella doesn’t answer my phone calls, doesn’t reply to my texts.

My parents are worried sick, afraid I’ll close myself off like I did after Miller’s stunt in college. Mom begged me to call my therapist, but I don’t fucking want to. She won’t tell me anything I don’t already know.

I fucked up big time, and unlike in college, I don’t have my sister in my corner.

Last time, Audrey was my rock. She was there for me night and day, helping me navigate my feelings. Now, I refuse to talk to her. Though I’m to blame for breaking Bella’s heart, Audrey’s schemes set all the bullshit in motion.

I close my eyes and focus on breathing. Tomorrow’s practice starts early, so I need to head home. But being there fucking hurts. Everything about that place reminds me of her.

I had to leave Milo with my parents because I couldn’t stand how he lay in the foyer, refusing to eat, waiting for her to come back. The first full day she was gone, he stared at the front door for hours, and I can’t deal with that.

Why didn’t Bella want to take a break? Dammit. That’s the loudest question in my head.

We could’ve worked on our relationship. I’d do anything to earn her trust again.

As I hop off the hood of my car, knowing I have to go home, my cell buzzes in my pocket. Irrational hope blooms in my chest, only to be snuffed out when Stacey’s name flashes on the screen. I silence the device and head home.

I hate it there, yet I long to return, because her scent still lingers on my sheets and pillows.

As my headlightspan over the front of the house, Stacey looks up from the porch step where she’s sitting.

My gut churns.Fuck. I told her I needed space. Maybe she needs to hear it in person.

As I approach, the solemn expression on her face slowly transforms into a smile. It’s cautious, a bit hesitant, but it’s still a smile. It only makes me scowl more.

“What are you doing here?” I stop in front of her, hands on my hips.

“Hi, Alex.” She stands and smooths a hand down the backs of her legs. “I wanted to check on you. You haven’t replied to my texts or returned my calls.”

“Because I told you I needed space.” I skirt her, making sure not to come into contact with her, and climb the stairs.

My hostility does nothing to stop her.

“Audrey called me,” she says.

My shoulders stiffen as I dig out my keys from my pocket.

“She’s worried about you.”

“She shouldn’t be. What happens in my life is of no concern to her.” I unlock the door and step inside, but then I stop and turn at the threshold.

“Can I come in?”

Jaw locked, I assess her. Her expression is subdued, maybe a little repentant. Her shoulders are hunched, her hands clasped in front of her.

“Why?”

“I figured you could use the company.” She swallows audibly, holding my gaze. “And I think we need to talk.”

Avoiding her was the right choice, but if I want to set boundaries, I need to make myself clear. I won’t make the mistake of not communicating my reasons like I did in the past.

“Fine. Five minutes. Say what you need to say.” I step aside, letting her in.

“You have a nice house.” She stops in the foyer, looking around. “Where’s your dog?”

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