Page 102 of What if It's Us

Marlee sits, laughing nervously as my mother hands her a glass of lemonade and starts asking questions, one after another, about her pregnancy, work, and I swear to God, her favorite brand of prenatal vitamins.

And me?

I just sit here like a backup goalie, watching the game unfold in front of my eyes.

Marlee takes meeting my parents in stride. She’s so easy going, and calm, but doesn’t stop talking. She smiles and talkswith my mom like they’ve known each other for years. Suddenly I can see Marlee and Rebecca shopping together, planning baby events together, and teasing me about all the things I don’t know about babies.

I glance at my dad just in time to see him sneak a smirk when Mom pulls out a hand-knit baby blanket “just in case.”

Right. Just in case.

“It’s gorgeous, Rebecca,” Marlee says, holding it lovingly against her chest. “I love it so much. Thank you.”

I can’t stop staring at the two of them. Watching the woman I’m falling for fit so neatly into a world I used to believe I’d never deserve is like a dream I never knew I should want. A dream I didn’t think I could ever have.

Mom hands Marlee a second helping of potatoes and pats her hand. “You tell that boy if he’s not massaging your feet every night, he’s doing it wrong.”

Grinning at me, Marlee responds, “He’s been more worried about whether I’m secretly growing three babies instead of one.”

Dad chuckles beside me. “Nowthat’sa man who knows his luck’s caught up with him.”

I give him a helpless shrug and a laugh, though a small knot of emotion twists in my chest.

This.

This is what I didn’t know I needed. What I didn’t know Icouldhave.

A family.

One I haven’t ruined.

One I haven’t lost.

Mom catches my eye across the table, giving me the soft kind of smile only a mother could give—equal parts pride and love.

She winks at me and murmurs, “You did good, Ledger.”

I nod slowly, my heart full, my stomach somewhere near my throat. I reach under the table and squeeze Marlee’s knee. Shelooks over, her smile softening, her eyes meeting mine, and then she leans over just enough to meet my lips with hers.

It’s quick and soft and over before it really begins but her simple expression, her sincere movement, means more to me than she could ever know.

And suddenly, I don’t feel nervous anymore.

With Marlee by my side, I feel…at home.

The road stretches outin front of us, dark but calm. The hum of the tires on the pavement soothing, the dashboard glowing softly. With one hand on the wheel, I rest the other on Marlee’s thigh, her fingers tangled with mine. Her head leaning against the window, I smile at the sight of her half-lulled by the rhythm of the drive.

It’s a quiet drive home to start, but a good kind of quiet. We’re full bellied from my mom’s cooking and softened by the warmth of two people who love me and therefore love Marlee as well. I have no doubt they’ll be two of the most supportive and loving grandparents we could ever know.

“Your parents are wonderful,” Marlee says when I think she’s sleeping. She lifts her head from the window. “I think your mom offered me six casseroles and emotional adoption.”

“Yeah, that tracks.” I grin. “If she had her way, you’d move in with her and I’d have to FaceTime to visit you.”

Marlee smiles at that, but my heart is beating harder than it should be for a joke. I stare straight ahead, watching the headlights curve with the road, then risk a glance at her.

How do I say it?

Do I just ask her?

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