Page 21 of What if It's Us

I’ma nervous wreck when I watch Ledger pull into a parking spot just a few yards from where I’m seated at a picnic table. When he steps out of his car he’s dressed in a pair of gray shorts and a solid black t-shirt that forms to his upper body. I know I see the guys on the team in all sorts of dress and even undress but when I see them more often than not in their hockey uniforms or jerseys, it’s hard to wrap my head around seeing them any other way. Or maybe I’ve just had one too many thoughts of what it might be like to sleep with Ledger Dayne since last night’s text exchange. Either way, he’s athletic perfection with muscles and ridges in all the right places. Also, he has the face of a man who would bend over backwards to make sure you’re comfortable but probably whispers things like ‘good fucking girl’ when you’re deep throating him in the middle of the night.

Whoa.

Where did that come from?

Ledger shifts his hand through his brown hair that appears just a little wet at the ends. He must have showered after Pucks & Blades practice this morning. The thought of him wanting to be clean and good looking for our lunch brings a smile to my face. I bet he smells good too. All the guys smell good. It’s a libido scented paradise when I’m anywhere close to the locker room after a game with all the cologne they wear.

I watch as Ledger leans over and grabs the box from Harold’s with our lunch inside and our two bottles of water and then closes the car door with his foot. When he finally makes eye contact with me, his coy smile mixed with the confident way he holds himself makes something flutter around inside my stomach.

It’s fine.

I’m fine.

Everything is fine.

I’m just about to have lunch with the future father of my child.

Nothing to see here.

“Hey Marlee.” His voice is soft as he says my name, his eyes never leaving mine.

Hmm. I could have sworn his eyes were brown, but today they appear to be green. At least, in the sunlight.

“Hi Ledger.” I smile up at him from where I’m seated. In this situation, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to stand up and hug him or just stay in my seat. I mean, we’re just two friendly colleagues having lunch together, but also, in the coming days or weeks he will hopefully be handing me a sealed container with the fruits of his loins.

One of those little swimmers is bound to be of Olympic champion status.

The odds are good at least.

“Lunch is served,” he says as he opens the to-go box and places our hotdog containers next to the plate of cookies I brought.

My mouth instantly starts to water. “Oh, my God, these seriously look delicious. Thank you for doing this.”

“It’s my pleasure,” he says before taking a seat on the opposite side of the table and sliding the dogs I ordered over to me.

Also, I was right.

He does smell good.

We sit in silence for a few moments, opening our hot dogs and taking our first couple bites and then I finally say what’s on my mind.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know the best way to go about this.”

He gives me an empathetic smile. “I guess I’m not much help there either.”

“I really am blown away that you even said yes in the first place, Ledger. This isn’t something I’m taking lightly. I guess…” I take a deep breath and then force myself to make direct eye contact. “I just want you to know that.”

“I appreciate that,” he says, nodding. “And I guess I should tell you that I’ve never done anything like this before and wouldn’t offer to do this for just anyone. But you asked…and…”

“And?”

His cheeks redden and I find myself trying not to smile.

“Well, I have something you need, so why wouldn’t I give it to you?”

I set down my hotdog, chewing and swallowing the bite in my mouth before I arch my brows and say, “Because what you’re offering me is life changing. For me and for you.” I wipe my mouth with my napkin. “So maybe that’s where we start. Let’s talk about how involved you might want to be.”

“Okay.” He swallows the last bite of his first hotdog and dabs at his mouth with his napkin too. “I can be as involved or as uninvolved as you want me to be.”

---