Page 22 of What if It's Us

“Do you want to be a father? Is that in your plan for someday?”

Ledger’s mossy eyes stare back at me as if I’ve caught him off guard. “Uh…I mean, I’ve thought about it.” He shrugs. “I’m not sure how good I’d be at it.”

I huff out a soft laugh. “I’m positive that isn’t true. I happen to know from many sources that you’re amazing with the kids who come to Pucks & Blades.”

He smiles, the tension melting from his shoulders. “Those kids are fun little ass kickers.”

“Do you have experience with babies?”

He cringes. “Not as much as I probably should if I were going to be a good father someday.”

“Nah, I wouldn’t sweat it. Most new parents don’t have much experience and they somehow handle it just fine. I think it’s part of the whole parenting rite of passage, you know? Neither parent knows what the hell they’re doing. They’re just trying to keep their kids alive in between feeding and changing.”

He chuckles, lightening the mood. “You’re probably right.”

“Are you close with your parents?”

“Very close actually,” he says, nodding. “I speak to them every couple of days. Or I try to, at least. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them so yeah, we’re close.”

“Any major medical history we should discuss that could cause potential issues?”

Ledger raps the pads of his fingers lightly on the picnic table in front of him. “Uh, that’s where things get a little sticky.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t really remember my birth parents much.”

I cock my head, my brows pinched. “Your birth parents? Are you adopted?”

He nods. “Yeah. And before that I was tossed around the foster system.”

No shit!

How have I never known this?

“Oh. I’m sorry, I had no idea.”

He shrugs a shoulder as he grabs a few fries from the box. “It’s not something I really talk about a lot. My past, I mean. I love my family. They’re the only real family I know. It’s been that way since I was thirteen.”

“Wow. Do you want to tell me about it?” I ask softly. “I mean, it’s okay if you don’t.”

The corner of his mouth lifts and his chest moves slightly. “Ripping off the Band-aid right away, huh, Marlee?”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up any?—”

“Nah, it’s okay. In reality, all I know about my parents is what others have told me, which was that my father killed my mother when I was maybe four years old. Once I learned that I never wanted to know another damn thing about him so I pushed the knowledge down deep inside me and moved on with life. I was a foster kid for about eight years before Nick and Rebecca got me. I was going into the eighth grade then and I was definitely a problem child.”

His father killed his mother.

How horribly tragic

“How so?”

“Picked fights all the time. I refused to listen to my teachers. In reality I was just angry. Some foster families weren’t meant to be foster families and when you get stuck with those types, life is hard, but it’s all I knew. I was the typical bullied kid and eventually I just became the kid who chose violence instead of using my brain.” A gentle smile plays across Ledger’s face ashe talks. “But when Nick and Rebecca got me, Nick introduced me to hockey. Gave me something to channel my anger and frustration into. He saw the potential in me and encouraged me. They adopted me right before I turned eighteen and the rest is history.”

I had never heard Ledger’s story before. I wonder if anyone else knows or if he keeps his past to himself in which case, I feel bad for even asking.

“I think that’s amazing, Ledger. I’m the product of a single mother’s hard work and personal sacrifice. And I get the anger and frustration more than you may realize.”

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